DickinsonLand

The excitement is growing! The world's most poetic theme park is set to open on July 1st!

The premiere theme park in the world based on the work of a poet is scheduled to open in Washerst this summer: DickinsonLand! Be sure to plan a visit this summer, and you will say, "'I never saw a more' fantastic place!"

This June, the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum (above the coin-op Laundromat on Dickinson Boulevard) will provide information on this website about the shows, services, and attractions at DickinsonLand. New information will be added daily!

Because I Could Not Stop For Death Roller Coaster

A highlight of the park will be the premier roller coaster in the United States, the "Because I Could Not Stop for Death" Roller Coaster! If you get your kicks from dangerous speeds and hazardous descents on rickety tracks – you'll love this ride. The carriage will carry just yourself – and irrationality!

There's A Certain Tilt of Whirl

Shadows will hold their breath – and so will you – as "There's A Certain Tilt of Whirl" oppresses like the heft of a carnival tune on a circus calliope! At the end of the ride, you're sure to be "heavenly hurt," and you'll emerge with a gaze like the distance on the look of Death!

I Love A Look Of Agony Haunted House

One need not be a chamber to be haunted – but it sure helps if you enter one as scary as the "I Love a Look of Agony" Haunted House! Your look of agony will be true! No way will you be able to feign a glazed look, a convulsion, or beads of sweat on your forehead! Enter at your own risk!

NOTE: Not recommended for children under 13, senior citizens over 60, pregnant women, individuals who have seizures, neck or back disorders, heart conditions, motion sickness, dizziness, prescription medication or other physical ailments which may be aggravated by strobelights or motion, or visitors with prior orthopedic surgery, high blood pressure, broken limbs, acrophobia, arachnophobia, biliousness, sluggish livers, or swollen body parts.

Adrift! A Little Boat Adrift! Ride

Set sail in one of the boats in the "Adrift! A Little Boat Adrift!" ride to see if your dinghy will give up its strife and gurgle down and down – or if will it retrim its masts, redeck its sails, and shoot exultant on!

Note: Automated coin-operated life insurance dispensing machines are available near the Adrift! ticket kiosk.

Yell It Slant Roller Coaster

This coaster won't dazzle gradually. Instead, the success of the "Yell it Slant" circuit lies in the superb surprise that lies before each terrifying drop and around every startling twist and turn. And when your friends ask if you were filled with fear throughout the entire ride, yell the truth – and "Yell It Slant"!

Ample Make This Sled Log Flume Ride

In the "Ample Make This Sled" log flume ride, riders will rush the rapids in awe, making them wonder if their judgment broke excellent and fair – or perhaps awful and severe.

In a log sled straight with its front end round, park visitors will rush the yellow noise that interrupts the ground to its fast and furious end!

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Blue Uncertain Stumbling Buzz 3D Virtual Ride

Housed in a magnificent pavilion with state-of-the-art technology, DickinsonLand's "Blue Uncertain Stumbling Buzz" 3D virtual ride will be like no other! The stillness round the room will be like the stillness in the air between the heaves of storm. Then, just before the onset of the ride, there will interpose a blue, uncertain stumbling buzz between the light and you. The windows will fail, and you will not see to see.

Be sure to will your keepsakes and sign away what portion of you assignable! Then take a final breath – and FLY!

There Is No Frigate Like A Bookstore

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed – at her request) used to say, "If I hear that Frigate poem one more time, I'll scream!"

Well, you'll scream too when you enter "There is No Frigate Like A Bookstore," for it will take you lands away! Yes, this traverse may the poorest take without oppress of toll (excluding all state, city, and DickinsonLand taxes and "add on" fees). How frugal is the chariot that bears a human soul – and this bookstore is perhaps the frugal-est chariot there is!

The Soul Selects Its Own Sobriety Bar & Grill

After taking in all of the sights and sounds of DickinsonLand and you're ready to "take a load off" so you can "take a load in," mosey on into "The Soul Selects Its Own Sobriety Bar & Grill." Shut the door, and try one the divine majority libations – but drink responsibly so that you don't end up kneeling upon the bathroom mat (don't worry if you do, though; our ready & friendly staff will clean up the mess).

There's an ample selection of hearty meals to pick from! Choose one – and hopefully it won't close the valves of your digestion – like stone!

Enjoy!

Forever Is Composed of Nows Photo Shop

From this – experienced here at DickinsonLand – you'll want to let past months dissolve and exhale the years, and without debeate or pause, live for the moment in this magnificent park. Your time at DickinsonLand is certain to be a celebrated day – totally different from all other days – so be sure to take pictures, lots of pictures! If you use a digital camera, stop by to make prints! If you use a traditional camera, stop by to have prints developed within an hour. Then explore the park some more – and take more pictures – becuase "Forever is Composed of Nows."

Of course, once you depart DickinsonLand, your pictures and happy memories will allow you to relive day -- because Forever is also complosed of Thens.

I Lost A World The Other Day Lost & Found Bins

If you lose a world during your visit to DickinsonLand or your car keys – and you wonder, "Has anybody found?" – just check any of the state-of-the-art "I Lost a World the Other Day" lost & found bins scattered throughout the park. Whteher your lost item is worth mere pennies or more esteem than ducats, a rich man might not notice it, but you'll likely find it with a frugal eye! Just pop open the hinged lid of the bin, dive inside, and likely – very likely – you'll find your missing belongings in no time!

I Taste A Liquor Never Brewed Night Club

After reeling through endless summer days at DickinsonLand, step into the "I Taste A Liquor Never Brewed" Night Club and down a cold one from a tankard scooped in Pearl. And don't worry – the club's open all night – so the Landlords won't turn the drunken out the door! Instead, order up additional drams and drink the more! In the morning, to the windows run, step outside to lean against the sun – and then spend another fun-filled day inthe park!

I'm Nobody? Who Are You? Comedy Club

You might not want to stop for Death – but be sure to stop for laughs at DickinsonLand's "I'm Nobody? Who Are You?" Comedy Club! Stop in on "Open Mic" night and you can try your hand at stand-up comedy – and you, too, will be as public as a frog to an admiring bog!

After Great Pain First Aid Clinic

Spending a day at an amusement park can take a toll on one's body! Nerves sitting ceremonious like tombs? Stiff heart? Mechanical feet? Chill? Stupor? No matter the ailment, visit the "After Great Pain First Aid Clinic," and you'll come out with much more than a quartz contentment! And – if the pain is outlived – you'll be craving more "letting go" at America's premiere theme park, DickinsonLand!

I Never Lost As Much But Twice Casino

You'll never have to stand before the doors of the "I Never Lost As Much But Twice Casino" like a beggar – not as long as you have a valid major credit card! Our cashiers will gladly descend like bankers to reimburse your store. Even if you leave poor once more, you'll always feel like a winner!

Wild Rice! Wild Rice! Sushi Bar

After a full day in DickinsonLand, use a compass and chart – or a map of the park – to head straight for "Wild Rice! Wild Rice!," the sushi bar where you'll want to moor your heart! Oh what luxury awaits! If you miss it, you'll cry, "Were I with thee!"

If I Can Stop One Heart From Beating Bungee Jump

You shall not live in vain when you fall over 500 feet from the "If I Can Stop One Heart From Beating" Bungee Jump tower! Yes, before you get into the bungee jump harness again, you might have to ease a bit of aching or cool one pain – but the thrill of the fall will make it all worth it! You shall not live in vain.

As If The Checks Were Given Check Cashing Service

When you visit DickinsonLand, you are sure to exclaim "'I never saw a more' fantastic place!" However, such levels of wonder and anstonishment carry a hefty price tag. Therefore, the park will include numerous "As If The Checks Were Given" check cashing offices. If you never spoke with one of our credit managers nor visited our agency, stop in – and before you leave, you'll know how a fortune looks, and what upfront money be.

If All The Joys I Am To Have Family Fun House

Enter the "If All The Joys I Am To Have" Family Fun House, and you will be so happy that any and all griefs you have will laugh and run away. As a matter of fact, any joy you have could not be so big as the fun that happens inside!

Surmise The Horses' Heads Merry-Go-Round

Put away your labor – but not your leisure too! Instead, mount the "Surmise the Horses' Heads" merry-go-round (parts of which are like a swelling in the ground) and slowly drive and know no haste! The ride may feel like centuries, but 'tis shorter than the day! You may just want to ride for eternity.

I Like To See It Lap The Miles Train Ride

Ride around a pile of park rides and peer into DickinsonLand attractions on the "I Like To See It Lap The Miles" train ride. Your car will slurp, gobble and gulp the tracks as it chases itself down hills and climbs summits until – as punctual as a star – it arrives at the station door!

The Harm Of Beers Is On Him Bar & Grill

Don't let the infamy of time depose you like a fashion after a day at DickinsonLand. Instead, give dominion room, forget the morning forces and the glory of decay, and recharge your vitality at "The Harm of Beers Is On Him" Bar and Grill!

A Quartz Contentment Jewelry & Gift Kiosk

After a day in the park, a formal feeling comes. Your feet mechanical go round. So before you reach that point of stupor – when your nerves sit ceremonious like tombs – stop by the "A Quartz Contentment" jewelry and gift kiosk! Purchase a memento of quartz, wood or lead – a keepsake certainly to be remembered, and possibly outlived!

First Chill ~ Then Sno Cones Shaved Ice Truck

When the sun and humidity have you melting in DickinsonLand, stop by the "First Chill ~ Then Sno Cones" shaved ice truck! As opposed to freezing persons who recollect the snow, you'll delight in the high number of refreshing fruit flavors available. Get your hands on one, and you won't want to let go!

The Look Of Death Ferris Wheel

The DickinsonLand ferris wheel has such a certain slant that it will send you of the air like some imperial affliction! When it goes, the landscape lists – and you'll hold your breath with internal despair. The top – will any reach it? When the ride finally ends, you'll alight with an expression like the distance on the look of death!

Have fun!

To Comprehend A Nectar Snack Bar

If you require sorest need, mosey on over to the "To Comprehend a Nectar Snack Bar" where success is counted sweetest by those who snack on delicious deep fried macaroni and cheese, well-seasoned cajun potato skins, and sweet-and-tart frozen lemonade! Treat your family, and their immediate strains of triumph will burst elatedly and clear upon your victorious ear!

Wonderful Rotation

At DickinsonLand, frequently the rides are fast, frequently they're swift. Frequently this ride is super-sonic, rotating round and round! This ride, they tell me, on its axis turns! Wonderful Rotation! Take it for a spin!

A Door Just Opened On A Sweet Candy Shop

Need some energy from a sugar high? Don't just wander around the park lost and enlightening misery – and don't pass by "A Door Just Opened On A Sweet" candy shop! Open the door, step inside, and in an instant – a width of warmth, wealth and company will be disclosed!

Be sure to buy a pound or two of candy corn –the candy invented by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed – at her request).

Dwell In Possibility House of Mirrors

Ready for a fun occupation? Step inside the "Dwell in Possibility House of Mirrors" – definitely a scarier house than most – and certainly more numerous of mirrors and windows and inferior for doors! The chambers lead on forever – impregnable of eye – and the everlasting roof is like the gambrels of the sky! The corridors spread in wide and narrow bands to gain escape. Will you end up in Purgatory or Paradise? The possibilities are endless!

Purchase In The Soul Gift Shop

After spending a day at DickinsonLand, be sure to stop by the "Purchase In The Soul" Gift Shop -- especially if there's something you "Hope" for! Something with feathers? A music box that never stops at all?

Make your final gift purchases, then head out to our acres of parking lots -- and "Hope" you remember where you parked your car!