Poetry is the Best Medicine

MARCH 2015

POETRY IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Everyone who knows Emmett Lee Dickinson knows that he is America's greatest poet. However, many people are unaware of his expertise in the fields of science and medicine.

This March, the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum (above the coin-op Laundromat on Dickinson Boulevard) will present a very special exhibit on Dickinson's influence on the field of medicine.

Check back in March for this special exhibit. Until then, read two poems and call us in the morning!

March 1

Dickinson's for Depression:

Both First Ladies Mary Todd Lincoln and Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, suffered from migraine headaches and depression, and both took a medication called "Dickinson's for Depression," an exlixir invented by Emmett Lee Dickinson.

Pictured at the right: "Dickinson's for Depression," invented by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request). Interestingly, the label of the bottle warns that "Extended use could cause Blue -- uncertain -- stumbling Buzz." Third cousin Emily Dickinson lifted that line and used it in one of her poems, "I heard a Fly buzz -- when I died."

Pictured at the left: Although Dickinson's for Depression" caused blue, uncertain, stumbling buzz, "Dickinson's Liniment" cured it.

At the right: The final stanza from Emily Dickinson's "I heard a Fly buzz -- when I died." She used Emmett Lee Dickinson's language from the warning on the label of "Dickinson's for Depression."

With Blue – uncertain stumbling Buzz –
Between the light – and me –
And then the Windows failed – and then
I could not see to see –

March 2

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's "Wizard Oil" was advertised as a miracle drug. Just two tablespoons promised to "Ease One Life the Aching" or "Cool the Pain."

Below: The medicinal promises of Dickinson's Wizard Oil inspired Emily Dickinson to write her poem "If I can stop one heart from breaking":

If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain

Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in vain.

Interestingly enough, one common side effect from the use of Dickinson's Wizard Oil was a broken heart.

March 3

Pictured at the left: Dickinson's "Grief Tonic" guaranteed to cure "All The Griefs You Are Have." Common side effects, though, included an inability to breathe, temporary tooth loss, severe internal bleeding, and acute hyperphasia.

Below: The guaranteed outcome for Dickinson's Grief Tonic inspired Emily Dickinson to compose a poem entitled "If all the grief I am to have." The first stanza of that poem reads as follows:

If all the griefs I am to have
Would only come today,
I am so happy I believe
They'd laugh and run away.

March 4

Pictured at the right: To this day, Dickinson's "Wild Cherry Tar" is the most commonly prescribed treatment for psoriasis. However, continued use can cause "dim approach and pallid innuendos" with its users.

Below: The warning on the label of Dickinson's Wild Cherry Tar inspired third cousin Emily to write "Death is the supple Suitor." The opening lines of that poem are as follows:

Death is the supple Suitor
That wins at last --
It is a stealthy Wooing
Conducted first
By pallid innuendoes
And dim approach

March 5

Pictured at the left: Dickinson's "Sulphate Quinine" was developed by Dickinson to "cure the harm of years brought on by the infamy of time."

Below: The label on Dickinson's "Sulphate Quinine" inspired third cousin Emily to write "The harm of Years is on him." Here is the opening stanza to that poem:

The harm of Years in on him
The infamy of Time –
Depose him like a Fashion
And give Dominion room –

March 6

Pictured at the right: The top selling lotion in the world is Dickinson's All-Purpose Lotion. It guarantees that it "soothes flesh that is centuries from your soul."

Below: The wording on the label of Dickinson's All-Purpose Lotion inspired third cousin Emily to write "The event was directly behind Him":

The event was directly behind Him
Yet He did not guess
Fitted itself to Himself like a Robe
Relished His ignorance
Motioned itself to drill
Loaded and Levelled
And let His Flesh
Centuries from His soul

March 7

Pictured at the left: Dickinson's "Anti-Stress Pills" guaranteed to reduce the user's stress level; however, the warning on the label stated that "prolonged use could cause a face devoid of love or grace or a face with which a stone would feel as thoroughly at ease" (click the image to enlarge).

Below: Dickinson's third cousin Emily used the anti-stress pill bottle's label warning in her poem "A face devoid of love or grace":

A face devoid of love or grace,
A hateful, hard, successful face,
A face with which a stone
Would feel as thoroughly at ease
As were they old acquaintances –
First time together thrown.

March 8

Pictured at the right: The top selling energy supplement in the world is Dickinson's "Octaplex." It is known to cure "dropped brain, numb soul, and veins that used to run."

Below: The Octaplex label inspired Emily Dickinson to pen "I've dropped my Brain -- My Soul is numb." Here is the poem's opening stanza:

I've dropped my Brain – My Soul is numb –
The Veins that used to run
Stop palsied – 'tis Paralysis
Done perfecter on stone

March 9

Pictured at the left: Felling hot and bothered? Dickinson's "Scant-Flo" promises to "give your breath time to straighten and your brain a chance to bubble cool."

Below: Third cousin Emily used the Scant-Flo promise in her poem "He fumbles at your Soul" A stanza from that poem reads as follows:

Your Breath – has time to straighten –
Your Brain – to bubble cool –
Deals One – imperial Thunderbolt –
That scalps your naked soul –

March 10

Pictured at the right and below: Two of the Top Five pharmaceutical companies in the world are headquartered in Washerst, PA: Washerst Pharmacal Corporation and Dickinson Medical Laboratories.

March 11

Pictured at the right: Emmett Lee Dickinson developed various medicines for poor memory. The first was "Dickinson's Wonder Tablets." The Wonder Tablets cleared up foggy minds "when you're not precisely knowing ~ and not precisely knowing not."

Below: Third cousin Emily used the promise behind Dickinson's Wonder Tablets in her poem "Wonder is not precisely Knowing." The opening stanza to that poem is below:

Wonder – is not precisely Knowing
And not precisely Knowing not –
A beautiful but bleak condition
He has not lived who has not felt –

March 12

Pictured at the left: Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in a little bottle of Dickinson's Blood Renovator: "Take daily when the foot upon the Grave make effort at conclusion."

Below: Third cousin used the information on this label in a poem called "As plan for Noon and plan for Night." The final stanza of that poem reads as follows:

At Distance, and Achievement, strains,
The Foot upon the Grave
Makes effort at conclusion
Assisted faint of Love.

March 13

Pictured at the right: Does more pep sound like what you need? With Dickinson's PepItAll, you'll hear sounds!

Dickinson's PepItAll is the perfect remedy for "when the feet, mechanical go round of ground, or air, or ought; a wooden way, regardless grown; a quartz contentment, like a stone."

Below: The label of Dickinson's PepItAll was some of the inspiration for third cousin Emily's poem "After great pain a formal feeling comes":

After great pain, a formal feeling comes –
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round –
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –
A Wooden way
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone –

This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –

Pictured at the left: If your nerves sit ceremonious like tombs and/or if you can't outlive the hour of lead, then try Dickinson's PepItAll, the best pep supplement on the market!

March 14

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's "DigitALL" Hand Lotion is the most popular hand lotion in the world -- even though users run the risk of developing "baffled fingers"

Below:  Third cousin Emily referred to "baffle fingers" in her poem "Low at my problem bending":

Low at my problem bending,
Another problem comes,
Larger than mine, serener,
Involving statelier sums;
I check my busy pencil,
My ciphers slip away,
Wherefore, my baffled fingers,
Time Eternity?

Pictured at the left: A vintage ad promoting Dickinson's "DigitALL" Hand Lotion. Interestingly, the woman in the ad claims the lotion cured her baffled fingers -- even though the lotion's label lists baffled fingers as a possible side effect.

March 15

Pictured at the left: Dickinson's "Notsickatall" is a popular over-the-counter tonic that is guaranteed to kill pain. However, the label does warn of a possible side effect: "Can cause a cleaving in one's mind as if the brain has split, seam by seam, and can't be made to fit"

Below: Third cousin Emily used Notsickatall's warning in her poem "I felt a Cleaving in my Mind." Here is the poem's opening stanza:

I felt a Cleaving in my Mind –
As if my Brain had split –
I tried to match it – Seam by Seam –
But could not make it fit.

Pictured at the right: A vintage advertisement for Dickinson's Notsickatall. The tonic is so popular, the American Medical Association likes to note that "five out of four doctors recommend Dickinson's Notsickatall."

March 16

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's "Ear-Oh-Zero" is the top-selling ear relief medication around the world. Dickinson developed this formula "because an ear can break a human heart."

At the right: The label on Dickinson's "Ear-Oh-Zero" inspired third cousin Emily to write her poem "The saddest noise, the sweetest noise." The final stanza of that poem reads as follows:

An ear can break a human heart
As quickly as a spear,
We wish the ear had not a heart
So dangerously near.

Pictured at the left: A vintage advertisement for Dickinson's "Ear-Oh-Zero" ear drops. Click the image to enlarge.

March 17

Pictured at the left: Dickinson's "Dickinson's Memory Cream -- when used with Dickinson's Memory Conservation Helmet -- is the most effective way to retain one's memory "when the pile of years is rising every day from recollection's floor."

At the right: The label from Dickinson's Memory Cream inspired third cousin Emily to pen the poem "The Pile of Years is not so high":

The Pile of Years is not so high
As when you came before
But it is rising every Day
From recollection's Floor
And while by standing on my Heart
I still can reach the top
Efface the mountain with your face
And catch me ere I drop

March 18

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's "Potion #9" -- "so the little toil of love is large enough" -- was the inspiration for the hit song "Love Potion Number 9" as sung by the Searchers, the Clovers, and many others!

At the right: The promise made on the label of Dickinson's Potion #9 prompted third cousin Emily to write "I had no time to Hate":

I had no time to Hate –
Because
The Grave would hinder Me –
And Life was not so
Ample I
Could finish – Enmity –

Nor had I time to Love –
But since
Some Industry must be –
The little Toil of Love –
I thought
Be large enough for Me –

Pictured at the left: A vintage ad for Dickinson's Potion #9.

Dickinson's Potion #9 is the preferred lotion endorsed by the American Nurses Association, the National Association of School Nurses, the National Student Nurses' Association, and fourteen other nursing associations.

Pictured at the right: Fidelia Rabbitt, the founder of the National Association of Middle School Nurses, was a spokesperson for Dickinson's Potion #9 for over twenty years. She also said, "Love is at the heart of nursing, and Dickinson's Potion #9 is at the heart of love."

March 19

Pictured at the left: For all those little aches and pains and persistent illnesses, Dickinson's "Little Pills" works wonders!

At the right: The label on Dickison's "Little Pills" inspired third cousin Emily to write the poem "A brief, but patient illness."

A brief, but patient illness –
An hour to prepare –
And one below, this morning
Is where the angels are--
It was a short procession –
The Bobolink was there –
An aged Bee addressed us –
And then we knelt in prayer –
We trust that she was willing –
We ask that we may be –
Summer – Sister – Seraph!
Let us go with thee!

March 20

Two of the top roadside attractions in the United States are in Washerst, PA, birthplace of America's greatest poet, Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request): Washerst Pharmacy and Dickinson Drug Store & Malt Shop.

Below left and right: Take a stroll through yester-year with a visit to Washerst Pharmacy on Dickinson Boulevard in Washerst, PA. Washerst Pharmacy sells Dickinson's medicines, tonics and lotions exclusively.

Below left and right: Dickinson's Drug Store & Malt Shop in Washerst, PA, is "home of the World's Largest Medicine Bottle."

March 21

Pictured at the left: "If removed from air and the lungs are stirless -- and the bellows feel numb," try Dickinson's Asthmatic Cigarettes. They're safe, smooth, and soothing!

At the right:  The directions on the package of Dickinson's Asthmatic Cigarettes inspired third cousin Emily to pen the poem "I breathed enough to take the trick":

I breathed enough to take the Trick –
And now, removed from Air –
I simulate the Breath, so well –
That One, to be quite sure –

The Lungs are stirless – must descend
Among the Cunning Cells –
And touch the Pantomime – Himself,
How numb, the Bellows feels!

Below and at the right: Vintage ads for Dickinson's Asthmatic Cigarettes.

March 22

Pictured at the right: Quivering nerves? Looking haggard? Cranky? Try Dickinson's "Brain-Eaze" and you'll be calm in no time at all. However, prolonged use "can cause madness, the starkest madness, until you are straightway dangerous, and you are handled with a chain."

At the right:  The warning on the label of Dickinson's "Brain-Eaze" inspired third cousin Emily to write "Much madness is divinest sense":

Much madness is divinest sense –
To a discerning eye –
Much sense – the starkest madness –
'Tis the majority
In this, as all, prevail –
Assent – and you are sane –
Demur – you're straightway dangerous –
And handled with a Chain –

At the left:  Two vintage ads for Dickinson's "Brain-Eaze," still the most used over-the-counter medicine for tired and tattered nerves!

March 23

Pictured at the left:   If your man's "heart is darker than the starless night," give him a dose of Dickinson's "NIGHT-roglycerin" -- it's guaranteed to bring the stars back out!

Below:   The label of Dickinson's "NIGHT-roglycerin" inspired third cousin Emily to write the following poem:

His Heart was darker than the starless night
For that there is a morn
But in this black Receptacle
Can be no Bode of Dawn

Pictured at the right:   A vintage advertisement for Dickinson's
"NIGHT-roglycerin."

March 24

Pictured at the right: When you experience "a pain so utter," use Dickinson's "Pain-A-Way" for quick relief.

At the left:  A vintage ad for Dickinson's "Pain-A-Way."

Below:  The label of Dickinson's "Pain-A-Way" inspired third cousin Emily to write "There is a pain -- so utter":

There is a pain – so utter –
It swallows substance up –
Then covers the Abyss with Trance –
So Memory can step
Around – across – upon it –
As One within a Swoon –
Goes safely – where an open eye –
Would drop Him – Bone by Bone –

March 25

Pictured at the left: Just two Dickinson's Daily Vitamins tablets per day will cure and/or prevent just about every known ailment. However, prolonged used could cause bones that have no marrow.

Below: The caution on the label of Dickinson's Daily Vitamins inspired third cousin Emily to write "The Bone that has no marrow." The opening stanza of that poem reads as follows:

The Bone that has no Marrow,
What Ultimate for that?
It is not fit for Table
For Beggar or for Cat.

Pictured at the right: A vintage advertisement for Dickinson's Daily Vitamins.

March 26

Pictured at the right: The best remedy on the market for despair is Dickinson's Balsam of Life -- especially when one has an expression like the distance on the look of death.

Below: The label on Dickinson's Balsam of Life was one of the inspiration for third cousin Emily's poem "There's a certain slant of light." Here are the final two stanzas of that poem:

None may teach it – Any –
'Tis the Seal Despair –
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air –

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

Pictured at the left: A vintage advertisement for Dickinson's Balsam for Life.

March 27

Pictured at the left: The only sure cure for a hang-over is Dickinson's All-Over Hang-Over Cure. Use it liberally when oblivion bends over you and honor is leagues away!

Below: The label on Dickinson's All-Over Hang-Over Cure inspired third cousin Emily to pen the following poem:

The Ditch is dear to the Drunken man
For is it not his Bed –
His Advocate – his Edifice?
How safe his fallen Head
In her disheveled Sanctity –
Above him is the sky –
Oblivion bending over him
And Honor leagues away.

Pictured at the right: Sammy Davis, Jr., and other members of Frank Sinatra's "Rat Pack" were spokesmen for Dickinson's All-Over Hang-Over Cure. They said it was what got them through most of their adult lives!

March 28

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's Stim-U-Lax, when used with a daily massage at the benumbing time, is the best remedy of tired, sore muscles -- especially those that feel as though they've grappled with leads!

At the right: The label on Dickinson's Stim-U-Lax inspired third cousin Emily to pen the poem "'Twas Crisis -- All the length had passed":

'Twas Crisis – All the length had passed –
That dull – benumbing time
There is in Fever or Event –
And now the Chance had come –

The instant holding in its claw
The privilege to live
Or warrant to report the Soul
The other side the Grave.

The Muscles grappled as with leads
That would not let the Will –
The Spirit shook the Adamant –
But could not make it feel –

The Second poised – debated – shot –
Another, had begun –
And simultaneously, a Soul
Escaped the House unseen –

At the left: A vintage poster that states, "Daily massage with Dickinson's Stim-U-Lax restores the privilege to live!"

March 29

Above & below: Vintage ads for Dickinson's Breath & Word Purifier.

Pictured at the left: In the late 1800s Dickinson invented the Breath and Word Purifier to cleanse the breath and one's vocabulary. It also served to expand the lungs and provide germicidal vapors for all respiratory ailments.

Below: The description for Dickinson's Breath & Word Purifier inspired third cousin to write "She dealt her pretty words like Blades":

She dealt her pretty words like Blades –
How glittering they shone –
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone –

She never deemed – she hurt –
That – is not Steel's Affair –
A vulgar grimace in the Flesh –
How ill the Creatures bear –

To Ache is human – not polite –
The Film upon the eye
Mortality's old Custom –
Just locking up – to Die.

March 30

Pictured at the right: The preeminent community college medical school in the United States is the Emmett Lee Dickinson Community College Medical School. The school is known for their degrees in necromancy, funeral planning and administration, and cadaver management. As a result, the campus is surrounded by many refrigerated body pods (RBPs).

Pictured below left: Students in the Cadaver Management program at the ELDCC School of Medicine. The third student from the right is Larry Levine, who went on the open the chain of Chili's restaurants, known for its barbecued baby-back ribs.

Pictured below right: The ELDCC Medical School includes the premiere children's psychiatric ward in the United States, if not the world.

Pictured at the left: Another celebrated alum of the ELDCC School of Medicine is Rosemary Skittle, shown seated in the chair. Ms. Skittle completed a degree program in identifying dental records of the dead. She went on the invent a candy called "Skittles," based on a substance she used to create molds of teeth and gums of cadavers at crime scenes.

March 31

Pictured at the right: Dickinson's Witch Hazel promised that regular use would result in "a daily bliss increased beyond the utmost scope you've learned to estimate."

As a matter of fact, Emmett Lee Dickinson said that any of his medicines -- taken at just the right dosage -- would produce a similar effect!

Below: The label on Dickinson's Witch Hazel prompted third cousin Emily to write "I had a daily Bliss":

I had a daily Bliss
I half indifferent viewed
Till sudden I perceived it stir --
It grew as I pursued

Till when around a Height
It wasted from my sight
Increased beyond my utmost scope
I learned to estimate.