Blog Archives

Evil Twin

11/27/2018

From our entertainment editor, Qwerty Lee Dickinson:

You know, I never thought about Trump looking like Elvis until he said it -- but dang if the man ain't right! I went and checked out some old pics of Trump, and sure enough, he's the spittin' image of Elvis!

It won't be long until he's starring in his own version of Jailhouse Rock!

Déjà Food

11/25/2018

From our food editor, Verla Burrell-Bordelon:

I hope you were able to enjoy a savory Thanksgiving feast this past Thursday. I also hope you've been able to enjoy tasty leftovers again and again throughout the rest of the weekend.

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) loved Thanksgiving -- and left-overs too -- and he immortalized his love a feasting on turkey and on all of the many and various side dishes and desserts in his poem "One Helping had I – then the rest" (below on the left)."

Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "One Blessing had I than the rest" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

One Helping had I – then the rest
Much larger to my Eyes
When I stopped gorging – satisfied –
I’d grown another size –

It was the limit of my Dream –
The focus of my Prayer –
A perfect – paralyzing Bliss –
Contented with this Fare –

I knew no more of Want – of Food –
Fantastic to the crumb
For these new Rations in my Soul –
Supremest Earthly Sum –

With Heaven consumed and Heaven to go –
I ate till I was Blue
Life’s Latitudes leant over – full –
My Judgment perished – too –

With Bliss so festively thus served –
With Paradise in store –
With Foods all served to Us – in Bowls –
I’ll masticate some more –

By Emily Dickinson:

One Blessing had I than the rest
So larger to my Eyes
That I stopped gauging – satisfied –
For this enchanted size –

It was the limit of my Dream –
The focus of my Prayer –
A perfect – paralyzing Bliss –
Contented as Despair –

I knew no more of Want – or Cold –
Phantasms both become
For this new Value in the Soul –
Supremest Earthly Sum –

The Heaven below the Heaven above –
Obscured with ruddier Blue –
Life's Latitudes leant over – full –
The Judgment perished – too –

Why Bliss so scantily disburse –
Why Paradise defer –
Why Floods be served to Us – in Bowls –
I speculate no more –

NOTE: Dickinson wrote an earlier version of this poem about Super Bowl buffets. You can find is HERE. Which version do you prefer?

Dumb Blond

11/25/2018

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

An article from June 2017 entitled "Donald Trump might be the dimmest President the US has ever had" is making the rounds again, and there's been some debate about this on Twitter. Well, there really has been no debate. Instead, people are just tweeting the obvious response: "Might be?"

Much of Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "He's dropped so low -- in all Regard" (below on the left), written in 1853, seems to document much what is going on with Trump today:

* He drops lower and lower in the polls (TBH, I can't fathom why even 39% of the population would support this fraud).
* He's dumber than a bag of stones.
* Many say his mind is unsound -- to the point that he is unhinged.
* He always applauds himself (recently he graded his presidency with an "A+," and he was thankful for himself on Thanksgiving).
* He generates racist scares, and he continues to amass wealth through shady politics and tax breaks for the rich.

It is simply amazing how visionary Dickinson was with this poem. Dickinson's poem also inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "It dropped so low -- in my Regard" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

He’s dropped so low – in all Regard –
He’s fallen ‘neath the Ground –
And dumber than a bag of Stones
They say his Mind’s unsound –

We blame the Fate that brung it – forth
Though he applauds Himself
For generating Racist Scares
As he amasses Wealth –

By Emily Dickinson:

It dropped so low – in my Regard –
I heard it hit the Ground –
And go to pieces on the Stones
At bottom of my Mind –

Yet blamed the Fate that flung it – less
Than I denounced Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Upon my Silver Shelf –

O'Keeffe & Dickinson

11/24/2018

From our art columnist, Jarvis MacKinnon III:

"UNEXPECTED O'KEEFE" is an exhibit at the Fralin Museum of Art at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, Virginia. The exhibit runs through January 27, 2019.

Below is information from the exhibit which documents O'Keeffe's time at UVA:

Established in 1880, the University of Virginia's summer program provided the first opportunity for women to enroll in college-level courses on Grounds. Only male students received official credit for study ranging from arts and literature to home economics, a policy reflecting the broader attitude diminishing the significance of educating women at the university level.

In the summer of 1912, Georgia O'Keeffe's sisters registered for several classes and encouraged their older sister to enroll in arts courses as a means to continue her studies and progress toward professional standing as an artist. They also persuaded her to take a course on the poetry of Emmett Lee Dickinson, as they were well aware of their sister's love of the poets life and work.

The books included in the case shown below include some with an emphasis on the rise of feminism and socialism and one biography of Emmett Lee Dickinson, literature and media that O'Keeffe was known to have read when she came and went from the University.

O'Keeffe's exposure to these progressive social and political works -- along with the poetry of Emmett Lee Dickinson -- contributed to her growing sense of independence not only as a woman in a field dominated by men but also as a painter discovering her own voice in increasingly modern times.

Left: "Permanent Record Cards" from UVA's summer program for Georgia O'Keeffe's sisters, Claudia, Ida and Antia.

Below: the "Permanent Record Card" for Georgia O"Keeffe, who registered in art classes and one poetry class. (Click the image to enlarge.)

Below: A text which Georgia O'Keeffe read while attending the summer program at the University of Virginia:

Below: Paintings by O'Keeffe from her time at the University of Virginia:

For more information on Georgia O'Keeffe and Emmett Lee Dickinson, click HERE.

Another current exhibit at the Fralin is "Highlights from the Heywood and Cynthia Fralin Collection." This show runs through January 27, 2019.

In 2011, Heywood and Cynthia Fralin, major collectors of 19th- and early 20th- century American art, committed to making the largest gift of art in the University of Virginia’s history. The collection includes works by Georgia O’Keeffe, Mary Cassatt, Robert Henri, Reginald Marsh and many other notable artists of the period.

Shown below: Works by Jamie Wyeth, Thomas Hart Benton, and Stuart Davis.

The 2018 Shopping Season

11/22/2018

From our entertainment editor, Qwerty Lee Dickinson:

Get your wallets and credit cards out, it's time to start spending in the 2018 holiday Shopping Season!

Here are the dates to remember:

11/21: Gray Wednesday, Black Friday sales begin.
11/22: THANKSGETTING! Eat – and then shop till you drop! Door Buster sales start at different times throughout the evening. Check newspaper inserts for details.
11/23: Black Friday
11/24: Small Business Saturday
11/25: Mega-Mart Sunday
11/26: Cyber-Monday
11/27: Max-Out-Your-Cards Tuesday
11/28: 2nd Mortgage Wednesday
11/29: Chapter 11 Thursday
11/30: Black & Blue Friday
12/01: NSF Saturday
12/02: Destitute Sunday
12/03: Law-Away Monday
12/04: Lay-Awake Tuesday (To Worry All Night How You’re Going To Pay For All Of This Crap)
12/05: Keep Spending Wednesday
12/06: Squanderer Thursday
12/07: Reckless Spending Friday
12/08: Compulsive Shopping Saturday
12/09: Penniless Sunday (So Apply For New Credit Cards)
12/10: ATM Max-Out Monday
12/11: Take Out Loans Tuesday
12/12 – 23: The Twelve Days of Shopping Till Christmas Eve Extravaganza
12/24: Last Minute Shopping To Pick Up Gifts For The Wife

We Ho-Ho-Hope you get to the stores early enough to qualify for great door-buster deals!

To get you in the mood for Thanksgetting shopping -- after you consume your weight in turkey and candied yams -- here's a Thanksgiving poem by Emmett Lee Dickinson (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "So has a Daisy vanished" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

So has a Turkey vanished
From the plates today –
So entered many a diner
To Paradise they say –

Oozed so in flannel PJs
Day’s deserving nap –
Burping – stretching – snoring
Tomorrow we will Shop!

By Emily Dickinson:

So has a Daisy vanished
From the fields today –
So tiptoed many a slipper
To Paradise away –

Oozed so in crimson bubbles
Day's departing tide –
Blooming – tripping – flowing
Are ye then with God?

In other holiday news, here's an exclusive look at the White House's Christmas decorations and Christmas cards.

Below: Once again, Melanie Trump has decorated the White House in a hellish landscape:

Below: The first family's official holiday cards feature Donald as "Trumpus," his favorite Christmas character, and Melanie:

Electoral Clown College

11/20/2018

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

Evidently the 2016 Electoral College was really the Electoral Clown College -- the Trump Circus won and continues to this day.

As a result, the world is laughing at us. People in Finland are mocking us with pictures of Finnish raking squads.

In other news, Trump scorned the Navy seal team that brought down Osama bin Laden, and Ivanka is conducting official government business with her personal email.

When will this clown show end?

Hmm. With the recent Blue Tidal Wave in congress, maybe this will all end sooner than later?

Of course, all of this calls to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem, "On this long storm a Blue Wave rose" (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "On this long storm the Rainbow rose" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

On this long storm a Blue Wave rose –
On this late month – we won –
The Clowns – like feckless Elephants –
Ineptly – struggled on –

The Rest rose smiling, in their beds –
The votes – indeed were won –
Rejoice, how needful was the prize –
On whom the wave crashed down!

The energizing draw of breath –
At Daybreak – was robust –
The blue – Resistance principles
Did awaken us!

By Emily Dickinson:

On this long storm the Rainbow rose –
On this late morn – the sun –
The Clouds – like listless Elephants –
Horizons – straggled down –

The Birds rose smiling, in their nests –
The gales – indeed were done –
Alas, how heedless were the eyes –
On whom the summer shone!

The quiet nonchalance of death –
No Daybreak – can bestir –
The slow – Archangel’s syllables
Must awaken her!

The Toad Warrior

11/19/2018

From our political correspondent, Dorothy "Lottie" Dawe:

The White House calls for decorum and respect, at the same time that Trump calls people stupid, rude, and phony. Then he tweets this:

Seriously?

I am at a loss for words about how vulgar and small this toad is, so I will just leave this here – a poem (below on the left) written in 1872 by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed –at her request). It very aptly epitomizes Trump, the little toad in the Office and a stain on the presidency and on our history. Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "A little Dog that wags his tail" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

A little Toad that croaks his spite
And knows no other joys
Oh such a little Toad is he
Delighted by his Noise

He wallows all the living Day
Without an earthly cause
Because he is a little Toad
Dishonest once exposed –

The Toad that in the Office dwells
On history he’s a stain
A Louse with all Tradition now
He’s derisive and profane

He has no class apparent
He’s just a vulgar fraud
Who only makes a “lot of noise”
Impeach this little Toad –

By Emily Dickinson:

A little Dog that wags his tail
And knows no other joy
Of such a little Dog am I
Reminded by a Boy

Who gambols all the living Day
Without an earthly cause
Because he is a little Boy
I honestly suppose –

The Cat that in the Corner dwells
Her martial Day forgot
The Mouse but a Tradition now
Of her desireless Lot

Another class remind me
Who neither please nor play
But not to make a "bit of noise"
Beseech each little Boy –

Below: The aptly named "Trump Toad" in his natural habitat, a swamp in Washington, DC.

Make America Rake Again

11/18/2018

From CNN:

Shortly after President Trump’s promise to get us great climate hit the air waves and social media, the Walmart in Booger Hole, West Virginia, had a run on rakes.

“Them things disappeared quicker than a bag of cheetos at a weddin’ reception,” said General Manager Claydell Riff. “We’re deep in the heart of Trump country, ya know, so when Trump says to get to rakin’, then the folks 'round here get to rakin’.”

When asked about climate change during his visit to California to see firsthand the devastation brought on by raging wildfires, Trump said, “I have a strong opinion: I want great climate. We’re going to have that, and we are going to have very safe forests because we can’t go through this. Every year we go through this. We’re going to have safe forests and that’s happening as we speak.”

Trump told Americans, “You gotta take care of the floors. You know the floor of the forest, very important….you gotta spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things.”

And when Trump speaks, Booger Hole listens.

“It was like the baby Jesus was speakin’ directly to me,” said Mary Grace Futch who ran down to Walmart and bought the last two rakes in the store.

“Then after Pa and I was rakin’ for a coupla hours," she added, "danged if the weather app on my phone didn’t show the temperature a-droppin’ a few degrees next week. I tell ya – that Trump knows more than the generals and the firefighters do – and if he says he’s going to get us a great climate, then he’s going to get us a great climate.”

Other Walmarts in states which Trump carried reported runs on rakes too. Some Walmarts across Alabama, Mississippi and Missouri also reported runs on mops and floor cleaners.

“They didn’t even let the man finish,” said Cleetus Ray Shifflett, General Manager at the Walmart in Possumneck, Mississippi. “Once they heard ‘im say that you gotta clean the floors, they were down here quicker than green grass through a goose buyin' up all the mops and such."

"I tell ya," added Shifflett, "Possumneck is sure gonna have a lot clean floors thanks to Trump -- somma which hain't been cleaned in years."

For more on Trump, climate change, and the California wildfires, click HERE.

Rake America Great Again

11/18/2018

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

Who said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt"?

The quote has been attributed to Mark Twain, Franz Kafka, Benjamin Franklin, Ernest Hemingway, Dorothy Parker, Leonid Zelig, and many, many others.

In truth, though, the quip was uttered in 1871 by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request), after President Grant had suggested that the Great Chicago Fire could have been avoided had the O’Leary family only kept their yard and nearby forest areas raked.

Now almost 150 years later, history repeated itself when Donald Trump made a similar statement -- and once again, he removed all doubt that he is a fool. Here is what he said as reported by the Huffington Post:

“You’ve got to take care of the floors. You know the floors of the forest, very important,“ Trump noted Saturday surrounded by the devastation of the burned town of Paradise in northern California.

“I was with the president of Finland and he said, ‘We have a much different —we’re a forest nation.’ He called it a forest nation, and they spent a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things. And they don’t have any problem. And when they do, it’s a very small problem.”

Critics were stumped by the raking solution.

They also pointed out the many extreme differences between warm, sunny, drought-stricken California with its annual destructive (and growing worse) fire seasons — and Finland, land of marshes, cold temperatures and snow. A quarter of the nation is within the Arctic Circle.

When pressed on the climate, Trump said, "I have a strong opinion: I want great climate, we’re going to have that." Maybe so, if he can sign an executive order to get us all outside raking and cleaning and doing things.

Trump's idiotic remarks called to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "A Man did make a Remark" (below on the left) which he wrote when President Grant made his ludicrous statement following the Chicago fire. Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "A Man may make a Remark" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

A Man did make a Remark –
In itself – a foolish thing
That did furnish the Fuse unto Spark
His dotty nature – lain –

Let us report – with skill –
Let us discourse – with care –
“We must all rake the Forest –
Before it exists in Fire.”

By Emily Dickinson:

A Man may make a Remark --
In itself — a quiet thing
That may furnish the Fuse unto a Spark
In dormant nature — lain --

Let us deport — with skill --
Let us discourse — with care --
Powder exists in Charcoal --
Before it exists in Fire.

For more information on Trump, climate change, and the California wildfires, click HERE.

All The Best!

11/17/2018

From our executive director for development and expansion, Emerson Nettles:

We are thrilled to announce an EXCLUSIVE arrangement with the White House to offer Melanie Trump's "BE BEST" toy kit for children -- a perfect gift for children of all ages this holiday season!

For $19.95, plus taxes and add-on fees, you will receive the following:

A beautiful button your child can wear throughout the year to remind him or her to "Be Best":

An attractive "Be Best" bumper sticker for your car -- reminding everyone that you "Be Best":

A framed 22 x 28 poster of Melania reminding children to "Be Best":

Your choice of ONE computer screensaver: either Melania doing a pole dance at the Republican Convention in 2016 (shown below on the left) -- OR -- Melania greeting children in the White House, reminding them to "Be Best" (shown below on the right):

A handy iPhone gun grip made exclusively for tiny hands (Donald Trump LOVES his):

A tub of "Be Best" candy made exclusively from a long-lost old-country recipe:

The set also includes a Donald Trump Pez dispenser (shown at the left) AND a "Be Best" Melania Trump doll in a bikini designed by
handbag maker Lana Marks
(shown at the right).

Who is Lana Marks?

Why she is a member of Trump's exclusive Mar-a-Lago resort, a woman who has made a name for herself in the fashion industry through her luxury handbags often made of exotic animals on the endangered species list, and soon-to-be nominated Ambassador to South Africa..

Why would Donald Trump nominate this woman to be an ambassador? We think we've uncovered the reason.

See a screen shot
of her website below.