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It All Adds Up

12/31/2016

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We just finished our countdown of the Words of the Year for 2016, and the top Word of the Year was “divided."

How did we land on "divided" as the Word of the Year? Well, of course there was Brexit and the break-ups of One Direction and Brad and Angelina; however, the major force in our decision to crown "divided" as the Word of the Year was the great unifier himself, Donald Trump.  He worked diligently to divide our country more than any other force this year -- and not because of his bigly, er, big league and unconventional unifying powers.  No, the expansion of our grand canyon was more attributalbe to Trump's skills as a mathematician, especially when it comes to the operations of ambition, distraction, uglification, and division.*
 
AMBITION:  On June 16, 2015, Trump descended into the lobby of Trump Tower as if he were submerging into a swamp to feed his own ego with an announcement that he was running for President.  Even a top Trump strategist saw through the charade.  Relatively early in the campaign, Stephanie Cegielski wrote,   “I don't think even Trump thought he would get this far. And I don’t even know that he wanted to, which is perhaps the scariest prospect of all.  He certainly was never prepared or equipped to go all the way to the White House, but his ego has now taken over the driver's seat, and nothing else matters.”
 
DISTRACTION:  Throughout the campaign, Trump was a master of distraction.  He duped his followers and the media with diversion, deception and distraction.  If someone were to criticize his poor performance in the presidential debates, Trump would tweet about Megyn Kelly, Heidi Cruz, or Alicia Machado (a former Miss. Venezuela).  If someone were to report about Trump hiring white supremacists on his staff, he’d tweet about a discourteous audience at “Hamilton.”  His tweets came to be known as “weapons of mass distraction.”
 
UGLIFICATION: Trump disrespected women, belittled Mexicans, disparaged Muslims, mocked the disabled, and more – and then he’d bark invective about anyone who’d call him on it.  Trump is the reigning monarch of uglification, and his clan loves it!
 
DIVISION:   By drawing on his skills of ambition, distraction, and uglification, Trump was successful in creating a greater division in our nation so that despite an incredible loss in the popular vote, he squeaked by with enough electoral votes to seize the White House.  Поздравляю, товарищ.  This fruitful division made "divided" the obvious choice as the 2016 Word of the Year. 
 
Trump’s yuge aptitude as a mathematician, though, reminded us of Emmett Lee Dickinson’s lack of skill in the same area.  Therefore, we thought we’d celebrate the start of 2017 with Dickinson’s now classic poem “i suck at logic, stats and trig" (below on the left).  His poem inspired E. E. Cummings to pen his poem “i sing of Olaf glad and big" (below on the right). 
​
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
i suck at logic, stats and trig
with hardest drills recalled a chore:
entrenched as a stunned resist-or
 
my wellintentioned tutor(grad  
MIT-er most distinctly trained)
took erring logic in her sight;
but— teacher of an overwhelmed
nincom (and knocking on my brain
me)aimed at frozen brainwaves of
that helplessness which others ignored
by rushing completely assumed
i grasped their muddy labored love
while my faulty intellect stored
absolute zero per blunt means--
Logic(being in all percents--
a cryptic and most puzzling math
upon the reason God gave me)
responds by acting all annoyed
“Do not dismiss this function graph”
 
straightway the baffling grid looked blurred
(a well-known expletive was heard)
 
but— through all kinds of countless drills
(the serving tutor’s tried and true)
my passive mind did curse and kick
until one day a bell did ding
and sum of what was said did stick
i aced my first examining
a long fought battle over time
by means of skillfully reviews
and late maneuvers over night
Logic(a foe that was once sting)
does almost ceaselessly perplex
pi anxiety with side effects
 
our last exam is late next week
the odds i’m hopeful to defy
i’ll study problems each unique
so that my grade won’t  up and die
 
Christ(so i pray before each test)
i ask a “C”; and logically
 
it’s possible i’ll pass because
unless statistics lie i will
be average quite successfully
​
By E. E. Cummings:
 
i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelovéd colonel(trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but--though an host of overjoyed
noncoms(first knocking on the head
him)do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments--
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds,without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your f—ing flag"

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but— though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat--
Olaf(upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ(of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too  

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you.  

​*Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll, was the first mathematician to identify the operations of Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.  However, Donald Trump combined Derision with Uglification, and added Division to the mix.  To this date, these methods are the heart of the mathematics curriculum at Trump University. 
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Merry Christmas!

12/25/2016

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Until my daughter mentioned it the other day, I had totally forgotten about a song I wrote long ago called "He's Looking More Like Santa." It's a novelty song about a woman's aging husband who is "looking more like Santa every day."  My daughter remembered that it was a favorite of her grandfather, my father.  He is no longer with us, but she was right -- he used to laugh when we sang this song -- and maybe because in some ways, he himself was beginning to look a little more like Santa himself. 
HE'S LOOKING MORE LIKE SANTA

Many years ago when I married my sweet Sid
I stood at the altar, that’s where I said “I did,”
There beside me stood a boy, a scrawny little kid
But he’s looking more like Santa each day,
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa every day.
 
     He’s grown a little thicker ’round the middle
     He’s just a little thinner on top
     Suspenders hold his pants up daily
     His jowls—now you can see how they’ve dropped.
 
Yes, I vowed to love him healthy, and I vowed to love him sick.
And you best believe that we’ve been though thin and thick.
After all of our lean years he’s looking like St. Nick,
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa each day,
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa every day.
 
     His eyes are big and black and beady.
     His whiskers how they’ve all turned white.
     He wears those granny glasses daily--
     To help him with his failing sight.
 
There’s no doubt that Sidney loves me—no doubt that I love him;
But I’ll just have to face it and take it on the chin--
Years ago I must have married Santa’s grumpy twin
‘Cause he’s looking more like Santa each day,
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa every day.
 
     His body shakes like unsettled Jell-O,
     It ripples when he lets out a laugh.
     He’s more than just the man I married.
     He’s more like a man and a half.
 
Oh, I have a simple theory for what you this it’s worth--
That Sid and his brother were torn apart at birth
They were raised by separate families on distant points on Earth,
’Cause he’s looking more like Santa each day,
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa every day.
Yes, he’s looking more like Santa every day!
​
Picture
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Sick & Tired of being Sick & Tired

12/20/2016

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My wife and I have been under the weather for quite some time now.  She is recovering from pneumonia, and I have had a terrible cough and  flu-like cold (I did test negative for the flu) -- and each night I experience regularly returning paroxysms, marked by successive cold and hot sweating fits.  Fun.

Of course, we're both heavily medicated, which is fine as long as no doctor or nurse comes at me with some sort of shot! I hate needles -- a trait I share in common with Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request).  
Besides being America's greatest poet, Dickinson was also an inventor and scientist, and he developed many different medicines.  His dream was to create a cure-all that would bring about the end of shots.  Perhaps the closest he came to achieving that dream was when he developed "The Hero In You" tablets, a treatment guaranteed to give "prompt relief to most ailments."

Alas, the active ingredient was pure heroin, so this medicine is now banned in all 50 states and in most countries around the world.

So who knows, maybe I'll just have to man-up if, in fact, a shot of some sort is needed to get me over whatever this is I'm suffering through!  I will try to be brave -- braver than those referenced in Dickinson's poem "Not Sickness stains the Brave" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen a poem with the same opening line (below on the right).

To read more about Dickinson's various remedies and treatments, click HERE. 
​

Picture
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
Not Sickness stains the Brave,
Nor fever Hot,
Nor Medicine to come,
But an approaching Shot –
​

By Emily Dickinson:
 
Not Sickness stains the Brave,
Nor any Dart,
Nor Doubt of Scene to come,
But an adjourning Heart –

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Break Time!

12/19/2016

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It's Winter Break!  Hooray!  The fall school term is over!  

And whom do we have to thank for Winter Break?  Why, Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) of course!

Dickinson proposed the idea of a winter break when he was a professor at Harvard Junior College in Washerst, PA.  He convinced the school's Board of Visitors that such a break would rejuvenate tired faculty and students who had worked hard throughout the fall.  

He commemorated the first Winter Break in his now-classic poem "At last to be without a care" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third-cousin Emily to pen her poem "At last to be identified" (below on the right).
​
Picture
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

At last to be without a care
At last, my rump’s upon the chair
And for tonight I’ll rest
Past midnight, past the morning star!
Past sunrise! Ah! What leisure waits

For my sore feet today!

By Emily Dickinson:

At last to be identified!
At last, the lamp’s upon thy side,
The rest of life to see!
Past midnight, past the morning star!
Past sunrise! Ah! What leagues there are

Between our feet and day!
​
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Good to the Last Drop

12/18/2016

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Channeling Run-D.M.C.'s "Christmas in Hollis," Chance the Rapper and the SNL crew paid tribute to President Obama last night with "Jingle Barack."

From GQ: "Thompson, Chance, and a break-dancing Jesus pitch Christmas as a chance to revel in all of the good things in danger of disappearing under the Trump administration, like same-sex marriage, the Affordable Care Act, and the North Pole. D.M.C. himself even stopped by to deliver a delightful 'Make America Great Again' hat punchline."


​The video ends with shots of Obama dropping the mic at his final White House Correspondents' Dinner earlier this year.

The origins of the phrase "drop the mic" dates back to the late 1800s.  It comes from the poem "A Mic dropped carefully on a Stage" (below on the left) by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request).  His poem inspired third-cousin Emily to pen her poem "A Word dropped careless on a Page" (below on the right).
​

Picture
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

A Mic dropped carefully on a Stage
May stimulate a cheer
When done with flourish it can make
The rankled Target sneer

Inflection in the sentence breeds
A gasp with laughs to spare
With triumph once the gesture's made
From the Hysteria
​

By Emily Dickinson:

A Word dropped careless on a Page
May stimulate an eye
When folded in perpetual seam
The Wrinkled Maker lie

Infection in the sentence breeds
We may inhale Despair
At distances of Centuries
From the Malaria

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I Shall Not Write In Vain

12/14/2016

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I have written about a dozen or more songs based on the poems of Emily Dickinson.  Some of her poems are just long enough to lend themselves to a song of suitable length – especially if selected lines are used in the verses of the song, and then others repeat themselves in the chorus. 
 
With others of her poems, I combined two or more to create a single song.  For example, I juxtaposed “Frequently the woods are pink” with “This slow day moved along” for a song called “Wonderful Rotation.”
 
In one case, to lengthen a rather short poem, I added additional lyrics that I wrote – and that proved to be rather challenging, for I tried to write lines that sounded like Emily Dickinson wrote them instead of me!
Picture
The poem was “If I can stop one Heart from breaking.”
 
I had a particular melody in mind, but I realized that using it with the 7-line poem would result in a very, very short song, so I decided to add extra lyrics.
 
When the song was ready, I sang it for a friend.  When I reached a section of the song with my original lines, she grimaced and said something like, “Dickinson wrote that?  That doesn’t sound like Dickinson.” 
 
Ouch!  My attempt was less than satisfactory – so it was back to the drawing board!  I removed the offending lines and worked on new lines in an attempt to make the lyrics sound more Dickinson-esque.  The result is below. 
 
I only wish I had kept a copy of the original effort for comparison to the end result.  I admit – it was embarrassing!  I am much happier with the final version!
 
What do you think?  Close?  Or no bananas? ​

​
Here's the poem by Emily Dickinson:

I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.


​
Here is the song with the added lyrics:

If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I know I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one in Pain.
 
If I can keep one Love from fading
If I can guard one Hope from Fear
If I can keep one Light from shading
Past winter’s far frontier.
 
If like the single persevering bloom,
Standing nigh, in the field –
Withstanding consequence of nature’s wounds
I will not fade or yield.
 
If I can help one fainting Robin
Unto its simple nest again,
If I can do this then I shall not live in vain.
 
If I can turn one Heart to kindness
Or guide one hand to Certainty –
If I can calm each separate anguish
And by that grace Release.
 
If I can comfort one who’s dying
If I can ease one misery
If I can save one tear from crying –
Keep one Heart’s company.
 
Unlike the silent alabaster stone –
Pompous yet ignorant –
Which shapes a covenant of no escape
Etched in permanence –
 
If I can help one fainting Robin
Unto its simple nest again,
If I can do this then I shall not live in vain.


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Out of the Blue

12/11/2016

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Pantone just announced the color of the year for 2017:  Greenery, "a refreshing and revitalizing shade...symbolic of new beginnings."  More information is HERE.   Greenery replaces the two colors that shared the honor in 2016:  Rose Quartz and Serenity Blue (information is HERE).
This combination of colors-of-the-year occurred one other time in history in the years leading up to the Civil War. Serenity Blue was followed by Greenery which was replaced by -- we'll we won't mention the god-awful color that came next!  

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) wrote about this very sequence of colors (serenity blue to greenery to ...well, again, we won't divulge the dreadful color that came next) in his now-classic poem "The Color of the Year is Green" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "The Color of the Grave is Green" (below on the right) ​
​
Picture
Picture
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
The Color of the Year is Green –
Or Greenery – I mean –
You would not know it from the Year –
That we have all just Seen –
 
To help our mood – to mend it –
With infinite new hope
They stopped to tell us how that is
So through the Days we’ll – cope –
 
The Color of last Year was blue –
Serenity – I mean –
You would not know it for the Year’s
Been Ghastly – not Serene –
 
It’s burrowed out the Smiles –
Then – all around the Land
Anxiety was on the rise
With each – until the end –
 
The Color for Beyond’s unknown
The Next in line – I mean –
Not all the Shades could make it bright
Not with this Somber – Scene –
 
You’ve seen the Color – maybe –
Upon a Dismal day –
Perhaps you’ve met with it before –
When Darkness – has its way –
 


By Emily Dickinson:
 
The Color of the Grave is Green –
The Outer Grave – I mean –
You would not know it from the Field –
Except it own a Stone –

To help the fond – to find it –
Too infinite asleep
To stop and tell them where it is –
But just a Daisy – deep –

The Color of the Grave is white –
The outer Grave – I mean –
You would not know it from the Drifts –
In Winter – till the Sun –

Has furrowed out the Aisles –
Then – higher than the Land
The little Dwelling Houses rise
Where each – has left a friend –

The Color of the Grave within –
The Duplicate – I mean –
Not all the Snows could make it white –
Not all the Summers – Green –

You've seen the Color – maybe –
Upon a Bonnet bound –
When that you met it with before –
The Ferret – cannot find –

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Another Opening, Another Show

12/10/2016

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There are three more chances to see Charlottesville’s Black Box Players’ version of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” this weekend:  today at 3:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. and tomorrow at 2:00 p.m.  The musical was written and directed by MaryAnne Thornton, and it includes original music and lyrics by Jim Asher the world’s leading authority on Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request).

​Have you ever read Dicken’s book? I always thought it amusing his opening lines that question our ancestors’ wisdom and the accuracy of the simile “dead as a doornail.”  Here are the first two paragraphs:


Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it. And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
 
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail. 
Picture

Of course, how do you transfer the text of novel to the stage? And for a musical, how and when do you insert a song?
 
In the case of the Black Box Players’ version of Dickens’ classic, director MaryAnne Thornton interweaves narrators throughout the play to tell the story, and composer Jim Asher opened the show with a very suitable and haunting song in three-quarter time (with hints of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman”) that states, “Once upon a time….”  Here are the lyrics:

Once Upon A Time:

Once upon a time –
How many a'story’s begun with that line?
Once upon a time –
Four little words that say lives intertwine.
They signal the start of a story,
A drama’s about to unfold.
We then hear the grit and the glory
Till all of the story is told.
 
Once upon a time –
How often have writers made use of that line?
Once upon a time –
I say it tonight by design.
 
[MUSIC]
 
Once upon a time –
The details I hope to remember.
Once upon a time –
I’m sure that the month was December
My story unfolds in the season
Of goodwill on Earth to all men
When one greedy soul with good reason
Had time to see what might have been.
 
Once upon a time –
Yes, that old beginning does suit me just fine.
Once upon a time –
I say it tonight by design.

To read more about the Black Box Players' "A Christmas Carol," click on the post titles below:

THIS CHRISTMAS
WHAT'S CHRISTMAS
IT'S DECEMBER AGAIN
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Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!

12/9/2016

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Donald Trump's pick to head the Environmental Protection Agency, Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt, is "a signal the Trump administration is intent on reversing President Barack Obama's moves to curb climate change."  Information is HERE.   

To honor this selection, the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum will release "Goodbye Earth," a companion book to Margaret Wise Brown's picture book, "Goodnight Moon."  
​

Picture

Here's the text:

On the great green Earth
There was an arctic pole
And a tidal shoal
And picturesque mountains from where the freshest water would roll
And there were species of bears
And species of hares
And beautiful sunsets
And rivers and inlets
And mid-ocean ridges
And even land bridges
And fish in the sea and birds in the sky
And the world's population was starting to cry:
Goodbye world
Goodbye Earth,
Goodbye poles
Goodbye shoals
Goodbye mountains where fresh water rolls
Goodbye bears
Goodbye hares
Goodbye sunsets and rivers and inlets
Goodbye ridges
Goodby land bridges
Goodbye fishes in the sea
Goodbye birds in the sky
Goodbye to the world's popluation starting to cry
Goodbye stars
Goodbye air
Goodbye noises everywhere.

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Knit Pick

12/6/2016

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Did you know that the ugly-Christmas-sweater trend was started way back in the late-1800s by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request)?

He came upon some of his sisters throwing out some particularly ugly holiday sweaters, but he saw something appealing and delightful in them, and he retrieved them from the trash.  He distributed many to friends as gifts and then held an "ugly Christmas sweater party."  The affair was so popular, it became an annual event -- and he commemorated the event in his now-classic poem "The Sweater that we did not prize" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "The Summer that we did not prize" (below on the right).
​
​
Picture
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
The Sweater that we did not prize,
Is treasured now today
Prepares us of a party now
To observe the holiday –
 
Arrives myself – takes off my Coat
And scans the office party
For Knits that should be out of sight,
Now conscious of their humor.

By Emily Dickinson:
 
The Summer that we did not prize,
Her treasures were so easy
Instructs us by departing now
And recognition lazy –
 
Bestirs itself – puts on its Coat,
And scans with fatal promptness
For Trains that moment out of sight,
Unconscious of his smartness.

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    PLOG

    A poetry log for the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum (above the coin-op Laundromat on Dickinson Boulevard in historic Washerst, Pennsylvania).

    Categories

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