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We'll Keep You Abreast Of The Scandal

2/6/2016

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Cleavage-gate, the current scandalous rift between Piers Morgan and Susan Sarandon, began when Morgan tweeted about Sarandon’s attire at the recent SAG Awards.  Morgan followed with “To clarify, I've no problem with Susan Sarandon flashing her breasts. Just tacky to do it when fronting 'In Memoriam' at awards show.”  The Brit’s addendum did not mollify the schism, though, and now women are trolling Piers Morgan with pictures of their cleavage.

This row is not the first scandal to involve a split over breasts.  In the late 1800s, brothel owner Abigail "Downtown Abby" Wellwood-Barnwell  wore a sequined boob-tube to the inauguration of the Alfred P. Mayknott, the mayor of Washerst, PA (the birthplace of Emmett Lee Dickinson). 
Picture
Oddlin Sparrowhawk Housemartin IV, a reporter for The Washerst Times, blasted Wellwood-Barnwell for her attire (or lack of attire), and in protest, women began mailing in pictures of themselves in scurrilous apparel.

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) wrote about the scandal in his now-classic poem "I saw her Cleavage in my mind" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "I felt a Cleaving in my mind" (below on the right).
By Emmett Lee Dickinson
 
I saw her Cleavage in my mind –
My widened Eyes were lit –
I tried to watch to ascertain –
The Letter of the fit.
 
I caught a glimpse, but strove to hide
My curiosity –
Just thankful for – though out of Reach –
Her generosity.


By Emily Dickinson
 
I felt a Cleaving in my Mind –
As if my Brain had split –
I tried to match it – Seam by Seam –
But could not make them fit.
 
The thought behind, I strove to join
Unto the thought before –
But Sequence ravelled out of Sound
Like Balls – upon a Floor.


Picture
Picture
Picture
 Pictured above, left to right:  Abigail "Downtown Abby" Wellwood-Barnwell (the inspiration for PBS' "Downton Abbey"P; Washerst Mayor Alfred P. Mayknott; The Washerst Times reporter Oddlin Sparrowhawk Housemartin IV.  Click the images to enlarge.
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