Treason's Greetings! It's Christmas in July!
Time to stock up on these GOP gifts now -- for Christmas in July -- or for Christmas in December! Or to be honest, for Christmas in any month because Donald Trump is going to sign an Executive Order commanding that Christmas be honored with a year-round celebration! Fa la la la la.
THIS IS PART 2 OF OUR GIFT CAVALCADE. SCROLL DOWN TO SEE OUR WONDERFUL OFFERINGS. THEN, TO SEE THE GIFTS PRESENTED IN PART 1, CLICK HERE.
Time to stock up on these GOP gifts now -- for Christmas in July -- or for Christmas in December! Or to be honest, for Christmas in any month because Donald Trump is going to sign an Executive Order commanding that Christmas be honored with a year-round celebration! Fa la la la la.
THIS IS PART 2 OF OUR GIFT CAVALCADE. SCROLL DOWN TO SEE OUR WONDERFUL OFFERINGS. THEN, TO SEE THE GIFTS PRESENTED IN PART 1, CLICK HERE.
| 1. KELLYANNE CONWAY'S COVER-UP The guys and the gals at the White House swear by Kellyanne Conway's "Cover-Up." "You know the president makes fake promises," said Sean Spicer, "so when the luster begins to fade, Kellyanne slathers on the cover-up. It works miracles. She can make the ugliest truth look like a beautiful alternative reality." |  |
 | 2. IVANKA TRUMP BFF BRACELETS If you find that you'll be separated from a loved one -- say, for eight to ten years or more -- get Ivanka's "BFF Bracelets" -- the perfect way to let your BFF know you won't forget him. |
| 3. PAUL RYAN'S BONELESS CHICKEN PADDIES GOP chickens have no backbones so they're extra tender, and they make the perfect gift for friends who are absolutely spineless when it comes to holding Trump accountable for anything. |  |
 | 4. JEFF ON THE SHE'F You've heard of the Elf on the Shelf? Well, now there's Jeff on the She'f. Put Jeff on any She'f, and the built-in cameras in his eyes will watch over any and all bad hombres in the house. If necessary, he'll send electronic directives to the local police department to report to your home for seizures of cash and property. |
| 5. TRUMP WORLD RECORDS 2017 There are only two books better than the Trump World Records 2017: The Bible, and The Art of the Deal. Read all about the record-setting crowds at Trump's rallies and inauguration; the very best words he uses; the most embarrassing moments with world leaders and their spouses; and more! |  |
 | 6. TRUMP-BRAND FIRE RETARDANT PANTS Liars can lie through their teeth, spread fake news, and report false facts, and do so in complete comfort -- and without a worry or a care -- when they wear Trump-brand fire retardant pants! |
| 7. MOTHER PENCE DOLL Your child will give up all other dolls for play-time with Mother Pence! The Cabbage dolls, the American Girl dolls, the Disney dolls, the Barbies -- and even the Ken dolls -- they'll all stay in the toybox. Your child won't want to be in the room alone with them -- unless Mother Pence is present! |  |
 | 8. TRUMP-BRAND CARDBOARD COFFINS Trump & the GOP are determined to kick people off helath care -- so there is no better time to purchase a Trump-brand cardboard coffin. The current GOP strategy is "Repeal and Recoil" -- so it won't be long until Trump's Death-care is here! |
| 9. Trump Handbaskets You know where you're going -- and you'll be going in style -- when you're transported in a Trump-brand handbasket! |  |
 | 10. ANTI-CYBER BULLYING POSTER Melania's anti-cyber-bullying campaign ended before it even started. "Nobody knew cyber-bullying could be so complicated," said the First Lady, so she has decided to more on to a new campaign: legitimizing pole dancing. "Pole dancers are so misunderstood in today's political climate," she said. As a result of this change in direction, we literally have hundreds of thousands of posters from Melania's rejected ACB campaign. |
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