Category: Tennis Pavilion

Cancel Culture

3/20/2021

Our Twitter account was offline for awhile due to this issue:

LOL -- I was suspended for telling a has-been porn star to "jump in the Cement Pond." That's just talk from the Beverly Hillbillies TV show for "swimming pool." And why not? A swimming pool is an expected extension to a tennis pavilion, no?

Anyway, I appealed the ruling but it's been two weeks, and I never heard anything back from Twitter -- so I figured the grifter's third lady just wasn't worth waiting for a response from Twitter so I deleted the tweet. Sooo....now I'm back.

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Unexpected Consequences

3/21/2020

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From Lemuel Stewart III:

While the country hunkers down in the grips of the coronavirus pandemic -- the very pandemic that Trump knew would be a pandemic before anyone else knew it would be a pandemic (and then he sat on his fat ass and did nothing) -- we thought that we would bring you up-to-date on some unexpected consequences related to this crisis:

1. As the coronavirus moves into West Virginia, grocery stores are reporting significant shortages of corn cobs, pork rinds, & Jim Varney VHS tapes (we have received confirmation of this from Justin Lloyd, Jim Varney’s biographer and nephew; @jimvarneybook on Twitter).

Also this just in: The celebrity pro-am Street Bowling Championship in Morgantown is cancelled, as is the annual Possum Boil in the greater Wheeling area.

Below left: Jim Varney as Ernest in "Social Distance Disease." Below right: Mar-a-lago, now closed, will suffer without daily spraying to control the bedbug infestation there.

2. Multiple pest control companies in Palm Beach, Florida, have had to furlough all of their employees now that Mar-A-Lago has closed.

“This will really have an impact on the economy of Palm Beach,” said Bodean Shifflet, Service Technician for The Miceman Cometh Pest Control Company. “Plus,” he added, “that bedbug infestation at Mar-A-Lago ain’t gonna take care of itself.”

“Just stay calm,” piped in his assistant Ricky Wayne Scruggs, “and they’ll just go away.”

Both then broke into laughter.

3. Speaking of the Mar-A-Lago closure, Senator Lindsey Graham has introduced a bill to the Senate for a million dollar bailout for all Trump hotels and golf courses.

“This is perhaps the most significant bill we can pass during this pandemic – which is really a Democratic hoax,” said Graham.

Mitch McConnell has promised to fast track the bill. "Americans are just too ***ing stupid to see through this," said McConnell.

4. Liquor stores across America report empty shelves in their Tequila aisles.

5. Retiring its false and facetious catchphrase, “Fair and Balanced,” Fox News has announced a new and more fitting motto: “You Can’t Fix Stupid – But You Can Sure FOX It.”

6. Republican Senators – and even the head of the New York Stock Exchange – continue to rake in millions due to insider trading. They are also revoking food stamps and health care for our most needy citizens, and they are hoping to deny access to the poorest Americans of Donald Trump’s “Corona Cash,” his diversionary currency to buy our love.

7. The apocryphal Monkey Gang Wars have begun in Thailand. For information, click HERE.

8. We now get regular updates on the White House’s new Tennis Pavilion.

“Next up,” spurted Third Lady Melania, “we have plans for a polo arena.” She then bared her top for the press pool photographers.

9. WHO announced that the coronavirus can spread through feces, so Depends is working on a protective diaper for President Trump – no so much for him, but for his diaper changers.

10. Sales for Snake Penis Wine have skyrocketed since the Swedish pop-duo “Ry mit Süze” announced the pending release of their music video “Snake Penis Wine (Got Me Feelin' Mighty Fine).

"Det är det perfekta vinet för social distansering," (It's the perfect wine for social distancing) exclaimed Süze Glynnstavssonsohn, one half of the world renowned duo.

Information is HERE.

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Tennis Balls

3/8/2020

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From Anderson Rudge:

We're in the grips the coronavirus pandemic. The president is muzzling the CDC so that people can't be tested and the truth is concealed (so "his numbers" look good) -- AND HE'S OUT GOLFING! Then, the Third Lady tweeted this:

The "Tennis Pavillion"?!?

I was outraged -- and not because Melania misspelled "pavilion" (there's only one L) -- but then I became infuriated when she followed that "let them eat cake" sentiment with this:

The narcissism & greed of this former porn star — and all the entire Trump family, honestly — is simply disgusting! The gall this woman has to tell us to "Be Best" is beyond words.

The Third Lady's absurd, indifferent and elitist comments called to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "She'd hoped for Pity -- not for Pain" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "I cried at Pity -- not at Pain" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

She’d hoped for Pity – not for Pain –
By what the Woman said
“Poor me” – and something in her
tweet
Infuriated – me –

Such gall I stated, to myself
She seemed a common broad,
Her Airs, her Hubris, Curious
things –
To look at, like a Fraud –

I sometimes hear “Rich people” cry
And see their Egos trolled –
And tested, I suppose – to Hell yeah,
They think they’re made of Gold –

She’s out of touch, do I care,
I think not, with her plea –
That so and so – she’s naught to me,
I’ll not feel differently.

I’m glad I know that Woman’s game –
So if she comes this way,
I’ll hold my life, but not my tongue
She’ll hear what I might say

She’s “can’t you all Be Best” – again –
Just give that Crap a rest –
She’s robbed herself of dignity,
We will not be Suppressed –

By Emily Dickinson:

I cried at Pity – not at Pain –
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child" – and something in her
voice
Convicted me – of me –

So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious
things –
To look at, like a Toy –

To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled –
And carried, I supposed – to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold –

But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh –
And so and so – had been to me,
Had God willed differently.

I wish I knew that Woman's name –
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say

She's "sorry I am dead" – again –
Just when the Grave and I –
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby –

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A poetry log for the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum (above the coin-op Laundromat on Dickinson Boulevard in historic Washerst, Pennsylvania).

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