Category: ALA

And the Winner Is...

6/23/2019

From our senior book reviewer, Philo Remington:

“Tonight we honor the best of the best,” announced Marion Caldwell Upsdale, the Chief I Infrastructure Quality Producer and Internal Quality Manager of the American Library Association, as she opened the awards banquet for the 2019 annual conference in Washington, DC.

The winners of the top three awards at the event were beyond giddy when their names were announced.

First, in the category for creative budgeting and innovative pecuniary planning, Librarian Helen Plumb From Molunkus, ME, won for her novel budgeting program “Fine by ME.” Using the latest digital technologies, Ms.Plumb was able to track down library patrons who were months if not years behind in paying their library fines.

“People who don’t pay their library fines are nothing but criminals and deadbeats,” said Ms Plumb – and with the results from her program, she was able to fund the library’s entire 2018 budget (with a 20% increase from the previous year) without using a single dollar from the city coffers.

The award for the most beautiful library display went to Librarian Pansy Renton from Lincoln, NE, for her dazzling display of musical instruments and practice books during the ALA’s annual celebration in September of Band Books Week.

The final award of the night, the Molly Frewen Alcock Award – named for the librarian who invented the revolving wire book rack – went to Bradford Nettles of Pocatello, Idaho, for his extensive and in-depth research “you can’t judge a cover by its book,” a comprehensive look at beautiful book covers for lousy books.

“A beautiful book cover draws you in,” said Mr. Nettles. “It hints at what's to come, but it is unfortunate and completely unsettling when the book inside turns out to be a dud. It’s high time the public is made aware of this literary malpractice.”

Following the awards assembly, all of the librarians adjourned to the bars, pubs, and taverns of DC in hopes that they all had time to restock plenty of alcohol following the previous night’s revelry.

Pictured at the right: Molly Frewen Alcock, the librarian who invented the revolving wire book rack (pictured at the far right). The top award given by the ALA at their annual conference is named for Ms. Alcock.

For more of our coverage of the 2019 ALA Conference, click HERE.

Lit(erary) Lunacy

6/22/2019

From our senior book reveiwer, Philo Remington:

There were some tense moments last night on the streets of Washington, DC, because many of the restaurants and bars could not keep up with the demand for liquor put on them by the attendees of the 2019 annual conference of the American Library Association.

As a result, throngs of roaming librarians took to the streets in the wee hours of the night in search of open bars and after-hours clubs.

DC Police Chief Peter Newhsam has reported that order has been restored as of this morning, and the International Bartenders Association is working closely with area restaurants and bars to restock for tonight so that there is no repeat of the hubbub tonight.

Below: An exclusive report from the Washington Post about last night's 'Lit(erary) Lunacy":

For more on the ALA conference, click HERE.

And Other Duties As Assigned

6/20/2019

From our senior book reviewer, Philo Remington:

The 2019 American Library Association Conference opened today in Washington, DC. The theme for this year's conference is certainly fitting with what is going on in our nation's capital: "The Criminals Are In Charge. Let's Throw The Books At Them."

In accordance with ALA tradition, the conference opened with all of the librarians in attendance reciting the opening stanza to Emmett Lee Dickinson's now-classic poem "The duties of the Job are few" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third-cousin Emily to pen her poem "The duties of the Wind are few" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

The duties of the Job are few
To stock the books, on Shelves,
Examine much, the Fines extort,
And hush the Library.

The pleasures of the Job are broad,
To dwell Content among,
Sustain, and ponder,
Speculate, and Questions entertain.

The kinsmen of the Job are Peaks
Among – the Reference Desk,
Also the Boss and Assistants
A knowing intercourse.

The limitations of the Job
They do exist, though few,
Too oft we dwell in Loneliness,
However, each day’s new.

By Emily Dickinson:

The duties of the Wind are few,
To cast the ships, at Sea,
Establish March, the Floods escort,
And usher Liberty.

The pleasures of the Wind are broad,
To dwell Extent among,
Remain, or wander,
Speculate, or Forests entertain.

The kinsmen of the Wind are Peaks
Azof — the Equinox,
Also with Bird and Asteroid
A bowing intercourse.

The limitations of the Wind
Do he exist, or die,
Too wise he seems for Wakelessness,
However, know not I.

Many people do not know that Emmett Lee Dickinson established the first public library in the city where he was born, Washerst, Pennsylvania, and he later served as the Senior Internal Customer Solutions and Integration Facilitation Specialist for the ALA.

In 1853 Dickinson wrote his ode to library work (above on the left), and one hundred year's later, ALA President Elliott Erwin Leverton opened the annual conference in Dowagiac, Michigan, by having all of the librarians recite the first stanza to the poem. That tradition has continued to this day.

Below: The first public library in Washerst, PA, established by poet Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Below: Elliott Erwin Leverton opens the 1953 ALA conference in Dowagiac, Michigan.

Pictured at the right: The new Emmett Lee Dickinson Library in Washerst, PA, stands at the site of the first public library established in the city by Emmett Lee Dickinson.

For more on the 2019 ALA conference -- including "What You Can Expect" -- click HERE.

For more information on past ALA conferences, click HERE.

Great Expectations

6/18/2019

From our senior book reviewer, Philo Remington:

The annual ALA Conference starts on June 20th in Washington, DC, and this year's theme is "The Criminals Are In Charge. Lets Throw The Books At Them."

A list of "what you can expect" at the conference was released today (below), and we at the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum were pleased as punch to learn that a symposium on Emmett Lee Dickinson's visionary poetry would be one of the offerings.

The presenter of Dickinson's poetry will be none other than the Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Dickinson Organization of Poetry Enthusiasts, Dorothy Dawe. Ms. Dawe plans to open her presentation with Dickinson's now-classic poem "We never know how low they'll go" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "We never know how high we are" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

We never know how low they’ll go
Till we’ve amassed their lies
And then if they are true to plan
We must vote out these guys –

The Dogmatism we endure
Is not a normal thing
Are not there Checks and Balances
For fear we’d have a King –

By Emily Dickinson:

We never know how high we are
Till we are asked to rise
And then if we are true to plan
Our statures touch the skies –

The Heroism we recite
Would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King –

For more information on this year's ALA conference, click HERE -- and stay tuned to our updates! Our next post will highlight many of the literary-themed cocktails that will be available at the conference.

For information on past conferences, click HERE.

For more information on Trump's Presidential Lie-braries, click HERE.

Book 'Em

6/13/2019

From our senior book reviewer, Philo Remington:

Ms. Devlin Carnate, the International Functionality and Configuration Strategist of the American Library Association, announced the theme for this year's ALA Conference & Exhibition in Washington, DC: "The Criminals Are In Charge. Let's Throw the Books At Them!"

Pictured at the right: Devlin Carnate, International Functionality and Configuration Strategist for the American Library Association

Pictured below: The ALA's theme for 2019.

The ALA is a proud sponsor of the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum -- information is HERE -- and I will be attending this year's conference in Washington, so check back soon for updates from the event!

Party Animals

6/6/2017

From our current affairs editor Lemuel Stuart III:

In a matter of days, the city of Chicago is going to learn a hard lesson. They are about to be schooled by a catalog of librarians.

Catalog is the collective noun for an assembly of librarians, and soon catalogs of librarians will gather in Chicago.

From June 22 – 27, librarians will invade the Windy City for the annual conference and exhibition of the American Library Association, and Chicago is about to learn that there is no way to tame a catalog of librarians.

“It's to be expected,” said Dagmar Couture, the Senior Commentary Networking Theorist for the ALA.

“Librarians work in the harshest conditions of any of the white-collar professions,” relayed Couture. “Day after day, week after week, they are forced to sit for hours on end shushing people or standing for hours in cramped, dark stacks re-shelving books."

As a result, when librarians are let loose and roam free in a city during the annual ALA conference they tend to go more than a little crazy.

“These are pure party animals,” said Couture. “You can't blame them.”

Pictured at the right: Dagmar Couture, Senior Commentary Networking Theorist for the ALA

The reputation of librarians as partiers dates back to the mid-1800s. Emmett Lee Dickinson wrote about it in his now classic poem "Librarians playeth -- all the while" (below on the left).

Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "The Lightning playeth -- all the while" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Librarians playeth – all the while –
And when They singeth – then –
Themselves obnoxious They exist –
And they stay up till – Morn –

Wild Instigators – with Glasses –
And long – bacchanal Dates
The Charm us – with their Happy feet
That dance – and longer dance –

Then with Lampshades – atop their Heads –
Continual – with their Noise –
Now They so much as slur their speech –
And just can’t stop Themselves –

By Emily Dickinson:

The Lightning playeth – all the while –
But when He singeth – then –
Ourselves are conscious He exist –
And we approach Him – stern –

With Insulators – and a Glove –
Whose short – sepulchral Bass
Alarms us – tho' His Yellow feet
May pass – and counterpass –

Upon the Ropes – above our Head –
Continual – with the News –
Nor We so much as check our speech –
Nor stop to cross Ourselves –

Yes, catalogs of librarians will soon be gathering in the city of Chicago. We can only hope that the CPD has learned lessons of survival from Orlando, San Francisco, and Las Vegas -- sites of the most recent ALA conventions.

Below: Librarians in Orlando

Below: Librarians in San Francisco

Below: Librarians in Las Vegas

Cow Abunga!

6/27/2016

The Fretz Park Library in Dallas, TX, was honored last night by the American Library Association with the Gwendolyn Quigley Wattley Golden Library Card for Outstanding Excellence. Named for the woman who invented the card catalog, the Gwendolyn Quiguley Wattley Golden Library Card is the highest award bestowed by the ALA.

Click the article below to enlarge.

Right: Gwendolyn Quigley Wattley, inventor of the card catalog an d namesake of the ALA's Golden Library Card for Outstanding Excellence.

Below: Dahlia the Cow, lead reference specialist at the information desk of the Fretz Park Library in Dallas, Texas.

The American Library Association has always had a love for cows, and almost since its inception, the ALA has had a cow as its mascot, Decimal the Dewey-Eyed Cow.

Pictured to the right: Decimal the Dewey-Eyed Cow

To this day, the ALA co-sponsors Cow Appreciation Day with the Emmett Lee Dickinson Museum (above the coin-op Laundromat on Dickinson Boulevard in Washerst, PA). For information, click HERE.

The Gang's All Here!

6/26/2016

It was a tense night at the OCCC last night at the ALA convention! Although the theme for the annual meeting is "Let's Get Goofy In The Stacks," the mood was anything but goofy as rival gangs of librarians roamed the convention center! Fortunately, the OCCC security force has everything calm this morning! Details are below! Click the image to enlarge.

Casa del Libro

6/25/2016

Hundreds of librarians in Orlando for the annual ALA convention and exhibition traveled to nearby Apopka yesterday to tour Casa del Libro, the celebrated home of world-famous librarian and Floridian Sophronia Pond Fisher.

Click the article below to enlarge.

Right: Sophronria Pond Fisher, inventor of the check-out card inserted into library books. Fisher is also a distant relative of Carrie Fisher and is thought to have inspired Fisher's look as Princess Leia in the Star Wars sagas.

Below: Casa del Libro, the magnificent home of world-famous librarian Sophronia Pond Fisher.

Aero-books

6/24/2016

The ALA conference is jumping today in Orlando -- literally! Famed personal trainer Wydonia Toner-Rupp is in town to introduce the librarians to Bibilocise (also known as Aero-books), the hot new fitness craze for book lovers!

Click the article below to enlarge.

Left: Librarians practice the "Retrieve the Book" move, part of Wydonia Toner-Rupp's demanding new fitness program, Aero-books.

Right: Mercy May Skimpole combines Aero-books with time in the Vertical File Cross-Trainer, a fitness apparatus exclusively for librarians invented by famed personal trainer Wydonia Toner-Rupp.

For more coverage of the ALA conference in Orlando, click HERE.