Category: Drittereich Drumpf

Hole to the Chief

1/11/2018

From our 19th century historian, Eudora Dickinson:

The ELD Museum’s Word of the Year Committee chose “Sad” as the Word of the Year for 2017, “not to spotlight any of Trump’s nasty and venomous attacks” (which he would often punctuate with “Sad.”), but because our country is in an "incredibly sad state of affairs.”

One of our saddest Word of the Year entries was “on many sides,” posted on December 29th. The post included the following:

When Donald Trump insulted entire ethnic and religious groups, I did not think he could go any lower. Then he mocked the disabled, and I thought he could go no lower. Then he insulted Gold Star families and war heroes, and I thought he could go no lower. Then he stepped off an Access Hollywood bus and admitted he was a sexual predator, and I thought he could go no lower. Then came the events in Charlottesville, Virginia, and Trump refused to denounce the KKK and the Nazis because there were "fine people" there -- and he condemned hate "on many sides" in response to the terror and violence of White Nationalists.

How low can Trump go? At this time in his presidency, we cannot answer that question. We just don't know. Sad.

Today, Trump sank even lower into his swamp: In a meeting with lawmakers in the Oval Office, Trump derided immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries. He called these countries “shithole countries” and wondered why we do not attract more immigrants from Norway.

Pictured above and below: Why would Trump prefer immigrants from Norway over those from Haiti, El Salvador, and African nations? Why, oh why? What could be the reason?

Today’s sickening incident is not the first time “shithole countries” has made the headlines. No, back in the 1800s, Drittereich Drümpf, a distant relative of Donald Trump’s, referred to a host of countries as “shithole countries." At that time even the Republican party censured his remarks.

More Information on Drittereich Drümpf is HERE, HERE and HERE.

Poet Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request) was incensed, and he wrote a short poem “The Shithole Countries – like the Others” (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem “Between My Country – and the Others” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

The Shithole Countries – like the Others –
Have Dignity –
But Morons – differentiate between us –
With Bigotry.

By Emily Dickinson:

Between My Country -- and the Others –
There is a Sea –
But Flowers – negotiate between us –
As Ministry.

I would like to know who was in the room with Trump when he made this racist comment. Did even ONE of them shout, "ENOUGH"? Or did they all laugh and nod their heads?

Banned Together

12/18/2017

From our master grammarian & resident logophile, Angstrom Dickinson, and our 19th century historian, Eudora Dickinson:

Attention poets: There's a Poetry Project occurring now centered on the seven words the Washington Post has reported are forbidden for use by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (“vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based” and “science-based”).

Details for the project can be found HERE.

It certainly is a cray-cray time in America -- and now Donald Trump is banning words. A bit Nazi-esque, don't ya think? Ever since The Washington Post published the seven words, the Internets have been abuzz with outrage.

History repeats itself, though. In the late 1800s Trump's distant relative Drittereich Drümpf attempted to ban a similar list of words when he ran for governor of Ohio. Info on Drittereich Drümpf is HERE.

Pictured at the right: Drittereich Drümpf

Below: The seven words Drümpf proposed to be banned:

Transgender
Doing the Bear (Courting that involves hugging)
Gal-Sneaker (a man devoted to seduction)
Gas-Pipes (a term for especially tight pants)
Ladybird (prostitute)
Lushery (an establishment where you can drink alcohol)
Luggers (earrings)

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) was outraged by Drümpf's preposterous proposal, and he wrote his now classic poem, "Transgender is a sample word" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem, "Immortal is an ample word" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Transgender is a sample word
Of seven banned you see
And so they leave us for a time
'Tis such a travesty.

Oh Seven of all the likely words
We fundamental use
Excised by his marauding Hand
The first of Seven we lose.

By Emily Dickinson:

Immortal is an ample word
When what we need is by
But when it leaves us for a time
'Tis a necessity.

Of Heaven above the firmest proof
We fundamental know
Except for its marauding Hand
It had been Heaven below.

Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin to Emily to write her poem. Perhaps his poem will inspire you to write a poem for the CDC project.

Truth Be Told

12/7/2017

From our 19th century historian, Eudora Dickinson:

People say that history repeats itself. That is most certainly the case with Time’s Person of the Year for 2017, the silence breakers. Back in the late 1800s, Time selected another group of wormen as the Women of the Year, the Truth Tellers.

Similar to the women speaking out in 2017, this group came forward to protest against serial predation. These women and a host of other accusers spoke out about the inappropriate, abusive and in some cases illegal behavior they faced from politicians such as Drittereich Drümpf (a distant relative of Donald Trump’s) and Lester “Les” Moore (a distant relative of Roy Moore’s).

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request) wrote a now-classic poem based on the stories of these women, “He touched me, and I lived to tell” (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem “He touched me, so I live to know” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

He touched me, and I lived to tell
That such a day, not permitted
He groped upon my breast –
It was a power play on me
Then silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.

And now, I’m different from before,
As if I’d gained superior nerve –
And gushed a true Account –
My spirit, too, that wandered so –
My Gloomy face – transfigured now –
From what I did Recount –

Into this Light, now I have come,
With others, all in Unison,
Who tell their anguished tales –
Not Addled, battle in reply
Lift such a Political lie
Of these injurious Males.

By Emily Dickinson:

He touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast –
It was a boundless place to me
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.

And now, I'm different from before,
As if I breathed superior air –
Or brushed a Royal Gown –
My feet, too, that had wandered so –
My Gypsy face – transfigured now –
To tenderer Renown –

Into this Port, if I might come,
Rebecca, to Jerusalem,
Would not so ravished turn –
Nor Persian, baffled at her shrine
Lift such a Crucifixial sign
To her imperial Sun.

Below left: Drittereich Drümpf, a distant relative of Donald Trump. Like Trump, Drümpf was a known sexual predator.

Below right: Lester "Les" Moore, a relative of Roy Moore's (pictured with his wife Orpha). Like Roy Moore, Les Moore preyed on young girls.

Sales Cap

9/2/2017

From our 19th century historian, Eudora Dickinson:

In the mid-1800s, Drittereich Drümpf a distant relative of Donald Trump, ran for governor of Ohio. We have written about Drümpf’s campaign in a variety of posts. You can read them HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Recent gaffes on the part of Donald Trump in response to Hurricane Harvey (he claimed he witnessed the ravages of the storm "firsthand"; his initial visit was in Texas, but not in Houston; he didn't meet with any victims; he wanted America to "heel," while Melania wore stilettos; he attempted to profit off the storm by selling "presidential caps"; the White House is back-pedaling on his pledge to donate one million dollars; etc.) are reminiscent of Drittereich Drümpf’s blunders following a devastating fire at a hat factory in Cleveland, Ohio (he refused to meet with victims' families; he tried to profit off the disaster).

Emmett Lee Dickinson wrote about Drümpf’s missteps in his now-classic poem "I could just sell a cap" (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "I would distill a cup" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

I could just sell a cap
And wear for all my clan,
Selling to them amid the storm,
To hawk, and earn, and scam!

By Emily Dickinson:

I would distil a cup
And bear to all my friends,
Drinking to her no more astir,
By beck, or burn, or moor!

By the way, we have written before about Donald Trump attempting to sell caps. Our first post is HERE.

Weather or Not

6/3/2017

From our current affairs editor Lemuel Stuart III:

“We’re getting out,” barked climate conspiracy theorist and so-called President Donald Trump about the US commitment to the Paris Climate Accord, a pact signed by 196 nations to adopt green energy sources, cut down on climate change emissions and attempt to limit the rise of global temperatures.

“I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris,” he scoffed. Really? Does he think the agreement has something to do with maintaining the ambience of the City of Lights? The Mayor of Pittsburgh – where Hillary Clinton receive 80% of the vote – responded, “Pittsburgh stands with the world and will follow the Paris Agreement.”

The most absurd notion in Trump's sanctimonious sermon was that he would somehow negotiate a better deal. This from the great deal-maker who has accomplished little to nothing with his muddled and befuddled administration. Some examples:

Healthcare: Round-one ended up DOA. Round-two is a change from Healthcare to Deathcare. [ROUND 3 UPDATE: As of June 2017, it is evident that the Senate has crafted a Wealthcare Bill -- to hell with most Americans!]

Tax Bill: “Our tax bill is moving along in Congress, and I believe it’s doing very well.” One problem: There is no tax bill.

ISIS: His 30-day plan to destroy ISIS was revealed on about day 142: “Call them losers.”

Climate Change: US leadership is now rudderless, and Captain Queeg is at the helm.

Folks, we’re being led by a buffoon, and I think he truly believes, “I alone can fix it.”

Interestingly enough, he lifted that line from a poem by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) which Dickinson wrote about Drittereich Drümpf, a distant relative of Trump’s (information about Drümpf is HERE).

Not only did Dickinson’s satirical poem “I alone can fix it” (below on the left) inspire Trump (I’m sure the mocking tone of the poem flew straight over Trump’s head); it also inspired his third cousin Emily to pen her poem “Alone I cannot be” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

I alone can fix it –
For Most – it’s only me –
Regardless what does Come –
I hold the Key –

They have no Plots, nor Plans –
No Documents – nor Schemes –
But General Hopes
(And Memes) –

I’m Stunning, it is known
Tho’ Worriers will fret –
I’m bluffing – because –
I’ve done nothing yet –

By Emily Dickinson:

Alone, I cannot be –
For Hosts – do visit me –
Recordless Company –
Who baffle Key –

They have no Robes, nor Names –
No Almanacs – nor Climes –
But general Homes
Like Gnomes –

Their Coming, may be known
By Couriers within –
Their going – is not –
For they've never gone –

Time will tell "weather or not" we will have to put up with Trump until 2020, but if he makes it to that time and he runs for office again, here’s the bumper sticker you’ll see on my car:

I Tweet, Therefore I Covfefe

5/31/2017

From our 19th century historian Eudora Dickinson:

In the late-1800s, a distant relative of Donald Trump’s, Drittereich Drümpf, ran for governor of the state of Ohio. Drümpf ran a scandalous campaign with controversial promises to build a wall around Cleveland; to banish “Prairie Dogs,” his name for settlers from six neighboring prairie states; to resettle West Virginians and Kentuckians in border-town “Hillbilly Camps”; and to fight for the right for fathers to marry their daughters.

We wrote about the Drümpf campaign HERE.

At the time, national and local newspapers covered the shocking campaign, and they published unceasing bombshell headlines. The press was criticized for giving the candidate such complete and constant coverage – or “covfefe,” a term from the 1800s that meant “attention and exposure.” The papers countered by stating that Drümpf was “tweeting like a bird, and the public yearns to hear his shrill and discordant song.”

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request) wrote about Drümpf’s run for office and the press’ covfefe of his “tweets” in his now-classic poem “We Covfefe – your Tweets” (below on the left). Dickinson’s poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem “We Cover Thee – Sweet Face” (below on the right).

Right: The Daily Cincinnati Enquirer promised "Complete Covfefe of Drümpf's Tweets."

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

We Covfefe – your Tweets –
Tho' that We tire of Thee –
For that Thyself fatigue Us –
Remember – as Thou go –
We follow Thee so that
We notice All – and more –
And so – repugnant – each day
Thou Con Us o’er and o’er –

So blame the scanty love
We are Content to show –
On every – Tweet – a Hundred times –
For Thou dost fake it – now –

By Emily Dickinson:

We Cover Thee – Sweet Face –
Not that We tire of Thee –
But that Thyself fatigue of Us –
Remember – as Thou go –
We Follow Thee until
Thou notice Us – no more –
And then – reluctant – turn away
To Con Thee o’er and o’er –

And blame the scanty love
We were Content to show –
Augmented – Sweet – a Hundred fold –
If Thou would’st take it – now –

He Went to Jared! -- Part 2

5/29/2017

From our 18th centruy historian, Eudora Dickinson:

The secret’s out! He went to Jared! However, Benjamin Franklin once said, “Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead,” and with so many secrets seeping, spilling and spewing out of the White House these days, I keep waiting for the headline “Floater Found in the Potomac.”

All of this is very reminiscent of a political campaign in the late-1800s when a distant relative of Donald Trump’s, Drittereich Drümpf, ran for governor of the state of Ohio. Secrets, surprises, crises and calamities mounted daily in Drümpf’s run for office. We wrote about it HERE.

Emmett Lee Dickinson’s poem about Drümpf’s campaign, “Their little secrets slip away” (below on the left), seems as applicable today as it did then. Dickinson’s poem did not inspire Drümpf to change his ways, but it did inspire third cousin Emily to pen her poem “Our little secrets slink away” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Their little secrets slip away –
Although Drümpf will not tell –
He’s changed his word a Trillion times
And now his swamp does smell –
But for the infamy each night
There’s some new crisis there
No scandal from our recent past
With this that may compare –

By Emily Dickinson:

Our little secrets slink away –
Beside God's shall not tell –
He kept his word a Trillion years
And might we not as well –
But for the niggardly delight
To make each other stare
Is there no sweet beneath the sun
With this that may compare –

For Part 1 of "He Went to Jared!" click HERE.

Beating about the Bush (Among the Bush?)

5/11/2017

From our 19th century historian Eudora Dickinson:

IIn the late-1800s, a distant relative of Donald Trump’s, Drittereich Drümpf, ran for governor of Ohio. One of his campaign promises was to build a wall around Cleveland. I wrote about this election HERE.

As the election neared, Drümpf was under investigation by the Ohio Bureau of Investigation (the OBI) for colluding with Michiganders to influence the outcome of the election because a great majority of Michiganders also wanted a wall built around Toledo, Ohio.

At one point, Drümpf suggested that the head of the OBI, James Goney, be fired. In response to Drümpf’s comments, his publicist Jonathan Müeller was unprepared for the onslaught of questions from the press, so he hid in a bank of bushes at the Great Serpent Mound near Portsmouth, Ohio. Later, though, Müeller insisted, “I wasn’t in the bushes. I was among the bushes.”

Pictured below left: A historical marker near Portsmouth, Ohio, shows where Drittereich Drümpf's publicist Jonathan Müeller hid "among the bushes."

Pictured below right: Drittereich Drümpf in a playful moment with his publicist Jonathan Müeller on the banks of Lake Erie.

Click the images to enlarge.

Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed – at her request) was present when reporters spotted Müeller “among the bushes,” and he wrote his now-classic poem “Could lie – did lie” (below on the left) about the incident. His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem “Could live – did live” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Could lie – did lie –
Could hide – did hide –
I smiled upon the whole
With no faith in what he said,
I think he’s sold his soul.

It turned to scene peculiar
In his untraversed spot –
We scrutinized his journey
With a puzzled look –

We guessed he was among them,
Among the shrubs today –
Those who saw him hiding
Gave the Plant away!

By Emily Dickinson:

Could live – did live –
Could die – did die –
Could smile upon the whole
Through faith in one he met not,
To introduce his soul.

Could go from scene familiar
To an untraversed spot –
Could contemplate the journey
With unpuzzled heart –

Such trust had one among us,
Among us not today –
We who saw the launching
Never sailed the Bay!

Below: History repeated itself when Sean Spicer hid "among the bushes." Info is HERE.

Off the Wall

1/7/2017

From our 19th century historian Eudora Dickinson:

In his now-classic poem “His Heart has narrow Banks,” Emmett Lee Dickinson wrote about Drittereich Drümpf, a distant relative of Donald Trump’s. Of course, today the words seem to ring true about Donald Trump as well.

At the time the poem was written, Drittereich Drümpf was running for governor of Ohio, and one of his campaign promises was to build a wall around Cleveland. Cleveland was the first city in the world to be fully lit by electricity, and Drümpf saw this as the devil’s work.

Pictured at the right: Drittereich Drümpf

When Drümpf announced his candidacy for governor of Ohio, he railed against the citizens of Cleveland. “If they have lights on at night, they will send out their people, and they won’t be sending out their best. They'll be sending out people who have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems to us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some people of Cleveland, I assume, are good people, but we’ve got to build a wall around them, and it’s going to be a great wall.”

Drümpf added, "This will be a wall with a big, very beautiful door because we want the good people of Cleveland -- and I assume that there are at least a few good people -- to be able to enter into our state."

Fortunately, the good people of Ohio rejected Drittereich Drümpf. He was not elected and the wall was never built. However, some people in Ohio still want to build the wall around Cleveland due to the poor performance of the Cleveland Browns.

Below on the left: Emmett Lee Dickinson’s poem “His Heart has narrow Banks.” Below on the right: Emily Dickinson’s poem “The Heart has narrow Banks,” a work inspired by Emmett Lee Dickinson’s poem.

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

His Heart has narrow Banks
It measures like a Pea
This mighty – unrelenting Ass
Of Red Monotony

This Wind Bag is hell bent
On making us return
To an antiquated Era
Where Forward Movement’s spurned

His Call is “Build a Wall”
An unattempted feat
And if the work’s undone he’ll just
Distract us – with a tweet.

By Emily Dickinson:

The Heart has narrow Banks
It measures like the Sea
In mighty – unremitting Bass
And Blue Monotony

Till Hurricane bisect
And as itself discerns
Its insufficient Area
The Heart convulsive learns

That Calm is but a Wall
Of unattempted Gauze
An instant's Push demolishes
A Questioning – dissolves.