Category: Melania Trump

Picture Perfect

9/1/2022

The White House Historical Association released today the official portrait of Third Lady Melania Trump, and it released two possible paintings to be hung as the official portrait of Imperial Grand Wizard Donald Trump. One shows the hateful side of Trump's defective personality where he is hissing like a snake. The other shows an even more despicable side of Trump where he is mocking a disabled person.

The WHHA is going to have MAGA morons vote on which portrait of Trump will be selected.

Below left and right: Which painting of Trump do you think best captures the heinousness that is the Imperial Grand Wizard?

Below: The WHHA released the official portrait of Third Lady Melania Trump and said that it would hang in the Boobie Bungalow Gentlemen's Club on 14th Street in Washington, DC.

In tribute to the new official portraits, we have posted Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "Portraits of two hateful faces," below on the left. Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "Portraits are to daily faces," below on the right.

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Portraits of two hateful faces
As they Mock and Twist,
To a tee, erratic nightmare –
And a strumpet’s Pole!

By Emily Dickinson:

Portraits are to daily faces
As an Evening West,
To a fine, pedantic sunshine –
In a satin Vest!

Cancel Culture

3/20/2021

Our Twitter account was offline for awhile due to this issue:

LOL -- I was suspended for telling a has-been porn star to "jump in the Cement Pond." That's just talk from the Beverly Hillbillies TV show for "swimming pool." And why not? A swimming pool is an expected extension to a tennis pavilion, no?

Anyway, I appealed the ruling but it's been two weeks, and I never heard anything back from Twitter -- so I figured the grifter's third lady just wasn't worth waiting for a response from Twitter so I deleted the tweet. Sooo....now I'm back.

Memory Games

7/27/2020

Emmett Lee Dickinson's 1853 poem "Show me a Elephant, and I will show you Memory" (below on the left) eerily parallels Donald Trump's recent claim of having "aced" a cognitive assessment test where he could identify a picture of an elephant and he could repeat back a series of five words, "woman, man, person, camera, TV."

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Show me an Elephant, and I will show
you Memory
Quote me a five word chain
I’ll list it back again –

Be Sure, in my dull Family –
Be best, what I have ever been,
a Mastermind –

By Emily Dickinson:

Show me Eternity, and I will show
you Memory
Both in one package lain
And lifted back again –

Be Sue, while I am Emily –
Be next, what you have ever been,
Infinity –

Below left: The New Yorker published a portion of the actual test Trump took. Information is HERE. Below center and right: Other exclusive photographs from Trump's test. Click the images to enlarge.

By the way, rumor has it that Melania Trump lifted "Be Best" from the last line of Dickinson's poem to give her hollow, meaningless & laughable campaign a name. Dickinson's poem also inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem, "Show me Eternity, and I will show you Memory" (above on the right).

Let's face it folks, our so-called president is a freakin' moron. November can't get here soon enough.

Tennis Balls

3/8/2020

From Anderson Rudge:

We're in the grips the coronavirus pandemic. The president is muzzling the CDC so that people can't be tested and the truth is concealed (so "his numbers" look good) -- AND HE'S OUT GOLFING! Then, the Third Lady tweeted this:

The "Tennis Pavillion"?!?

I was outraged -- and not because Melania misspelled "pavilion" (there's only one L) -- but then I became infuriated when she followed that "let them eat cake" sentiment with this:

The narcissism & greed of this former porn star — and all the entire Trump family, honestly — is simply disgusting! The gall this woman has to tell us to "Be Best" is beyond words.

The Third Lady's absurd, indifferent and elitist comments called to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "She'd hoped for Pity -- not for Pain" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "I cried at Pity -- not at Pain" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

She’d hoped for Pity – not for Pain –
By what the Woman said
“Poor me” – and something in her
tweet
Infuriated – me –

Such gall I stated, to myself
She seemed a common broad,
Her Airs, her Hubris, Curious
things –
To look at, like a Fraud –

I sometimes hear “Rich people” cry
And see their Egos trolled –
And tested, I suppose – to Hell yeah,
They think they’re made of Gold –

She’s out of touch, do I care,
I think not, with her plea –
That so and so – she’s naught to me,
I’ll not feel differently.

I’m glad I know that Woman’s game –
So if she comes this way,
I’ll hold my life, but not my tongue
She’ll hear what I might say

She’s “can’t you all Be Best” – again –
Just give that Crap a rest –
She’s robbed herself of dignity,
We will not be Suppressed –

By Emily Dickinson:

I cried at Pity – not at Pain –
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child" – and something in her
voice
Convicted me – of me –

So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious
things –
To look at, like a Toy –

To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled –
And carried, I supposed – to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold –

But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh –
And so and so – had been to me,
Had God willed differently.

I wish I knew that Woman's name –
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say

She's "sorry I am dead" – again –
Just when the Grave and I –
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby –

A Concentration of Children

6/25/2019

From our political correspondent, Dorothy Dawe:

There's been some argument lately over what to call the cages of children at the border. Trump and the GOP insist that living conditions are tolerable, and they have referred to the cages as "Tender Age Shelters" -- and they've compared the conditions to a summer camp for a children.

Others have referred to the prison-like facilities as "Concentration Camps," and they've been criticized for it by the GOP and the "Christians" who support them -- and I'm baffled as to why.

"Concentration" means "a close gathering of people or things" -- like a concentration of geese on the front lawn; or a concentration of racists at a Trump rally; or a concentration of children in the cages (and therefore a Concentration Camp).

Below: Melania Trump tweeted about the addition of "Be Best" Ambassadors to her hollow campaign about bettering the lives of children everywhere. She included a photograph of a "Be Best" banner she hung at the Central El Paso Concentration Summer Camp for Children.

The entire idea of separating children from their parents, caging them, and amassing them in concentration camps is repugnant, and we -- and all of mankind -- must bring the Trumps and the GOP under scrutiny for we are duty bound to act! The entire sordid affair calls to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "They're left to perish with forethought" (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "The right to perish might be thought" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

They’re left to perish with forethought
An undisputed fact –
Attempt it, and the Universe
Is duty-bound to act
With Concentration Camps for kids
Where some are left to die
So nature and mankind must pause
To pay them scrutiny.

By Emily Dickinson:

The right to perish might be thought
An undisputed right --
Attempt it, and the Universe
Upon the opposite
Will concentrate its officers --
You cannot even die
But nature and mankind must pause
To pay you scrutiny.

Isn't That Special

3/28/2019

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

In a recent poll conducted by the American Heart Association, Americans overwhelming picked Donald Trump as the “Man with the Smallest Heart.”

The choice was not so easy, though, when it came to the women. When asked “Which woman in America has the smallest heart,” six women ended up in a dead heat – far ahead of any other nominations (were there even any other nominations?).

Who are the six contenders for the title “Woman with the Smallest Heart”? In no particular order, the candidates are the following:

Kellyanne Conway

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Melania Trump

Ivanka Trump

Kirstjen Nielsen

Betsy "Cruella" DeVos

When Betsy "Cruella" DeVos heard that the vote was tied, she vowed to take the title -- by giving herself a raise and by defunding the Special Olympics. Then, when asked about her decision, DeVos said flatly, "Who cares? If I have the ability to be hateful, manipulative and deceitful, I'm going to take full advantage."

Word has it that last minute votes just pushed her over the top -- and DeVos will win a plaque engraved with Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "For smallest Woman’s Heart we know" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "For largest Woman's Heart I knew" (below on the right). DeVos will NOT receive a copy of Emily's poem.

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

For smallest Woman’s Heart we know –
’Tis little we can do –
Because the smallest Woman’s Heart
Can hold no mercy – true –
And so, destructive on her own,
A dissembler, through and through.

By Emily Dickinson:

For largest Woman's Heart I knew –
'Tis little I can do –
And yet the largest Woman's Heart
Could hold an Arrow – too –
And so, instructed by my own,
I tenderer, turn Me to.

The Lady Is A Trump?

3/9/2019

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

"Fake Melania" theories arose in 2017 when it seemed that Trump was traveling with a body-double for the First Lady. The suspicion resurfaced this week when Trump traveled to Alabama to see first hand the devastation brought on by destructive tornadoes there. The hashtag #FakeMelania began trending after this photo was published:

The White House was quick to deny that Trump was traveling with a body double.

"The First Lady saw some purple hair coloring at the Walgreen's on 14th Street," said Sarah Huckabee Sanders, "so she insisted that she have her hair done in that color before traveling to Alabama. The woman in the photograph is, in fact, Melania Trump."

Hmm. I'm not so sure.

The entire affair calls to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem "A doubt if it be Her" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired his third cousin Emily to pen her poem "A doubt if it be Us" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

A doubt if it be Her
Persists in staggering Minds
In a bizarro Angle
A fake the photo finds.

An Unreality is learned
A possible Mirage
That makes the whole thing possible
While she supports his lies.

By Emily Dickinson:

A doubt if it be Us
Assists the staggering Mind
In an extremer Anguish
Until it footing find.

An Unreality is lent,
A merciful Mirage
That makes the living possible
While it suspends the lives.

Best Effort

3/1/2019

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

Have you heard the news? Melania Trump is going to take her "I Really Don't Care. Do U?" tour on the road, and she is going to visit three states to speak to children about her "Be Best" initiative (I'm not making this up).

Do you know that FLOTUS' "Be Best" campaign has three pillars? Can you name them?

First, civil social media use. Can you believe that? How can the woman even show her face in public and even utter those words.

Second, a focus on opioid abuse, certainly a major concern of school children across the country.

Third, proper hygiene habits for middle school students. This is, of course, an extremely important issue of our day (just ask any middle school teacher).

Trump will visit elementary schools during her three-state sweep, and every child will receive a complimentary pack of Trump-brand Be Best Candy Cigarettes. Ten students in each school will win Melania Trump Be Best Paper Dolls, and one lucky winner in each school will receive Melania's Be Best "On the Pole" Doll.

Of course, FOTUS' upcoming three-state "Be Best" tour called to mind Emmett Lee Dickinson's poem, "Look back on this with rolled-back eyes" (below on the left). Dickinson's poem inspired his third cousin Emily to pen her poem, "Look back on time with kindly eyes" (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Look back on This with rolled-back Eyes –
Her doubtful plan Be Best –
How likely sinks this troubling Scheme
It's True we're not impressed –

By Emily Dickinson:

Look back on Time with kindly Eyes –
He doubtless did his best –
How softly sinks that trembling Sun
In Human Nature's West –

For more on "Be Best," click HERE.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

1/25/2019

From our entertainment editor, Qwerty Lee Dickinson:

Valentine’s Day is coming soon, and romance is in the air!

Join us on February 14 as we have been given exclusive rights this year to publish the Trump family’s Valentine cards.

Pictured at the right: Trump-brand Valentine Heart Candies

Also, the annual romance issue of the National Review will come out soon, and it includes two poems by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed –at her request).

The magazine features a first look at Bill O’Reilly’s soon-to-be-published book What’s Love Got To Do With It, a fresh look at the sham romance of Donald Trump & Melania Knauss.

In O’Reilly’s highly anticipated tome, Donald recounts how he first met the First Lady.

“Melania was working the main pole at Volcanic Eruptions, a strip club in Manhattan, and when I saw her I moved on her like a bitch,” he laughed. “I grabbed her by the...well...you know where I grabbed her....and you think you’ve seen her squint? That night she made Mr. Magoo look like he had 20-20 vision.”

Interviewed by the book’s author Bill O’Reilly — whom Trump calls his “Bill of Love” — Melania Trump laughed when O’Reilly asked if Trump were a romantic at heart.

“Yeah, right,” she chuckled as she explained the various bonuses she earns for holding the president’s hand in public, giving public pecks on the cheek and more.

O’Reilly asked both if they had a favorite love poem, and both cited poems by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson’s third cousin, twice removed — at her request).

Trump named “I do not care — why should I care” (below on the left).

“It really summarizes how I feel,” he said.

Dickinson’s poem also inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem with the same opening line (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

I do not care — why should I care
She can’t suspect I’m caring
Let’s put a fretting truth to sleep
In harsh reality
The error we will make
Persistent as perdition
Is easier to face
With frank absurdity

By Emily Dickinson:

I do not care – why should I care
And yet I fear I’m caring
To rock a fretting truth to sleep –
Is short security
The terror it will wake
Persistent as perdition
Is harder than to face
The frank adversity –

Melania identified Dickinson’s “A love devoid of depth and grace” (below on the left) as the poem that epitomizes her romance with the Donald. Dickinson’s poem also inspired third cousin Emily to write “A face devoid of love or grace” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

A love devoid of depth and grace
A hateful, hard, neglectful love
A love which is a stunt
And feels as thoroughly a sham
As were they both in on the scam
Each time together thrown

By Emily Dickinson:

A face devoid of love or grace,
A hateful, hard, successful face,
A face with which a stone
Would feel as thoroughly at ease
As were they old acquaintances –
First time together thrown.

Low Resolution

1/1/2019

From our 19th Century historian, Eudora Dickinson:

Have you made any resolutions for the new year?

Do you plan to hit the gym? Lose weight? Quit smoking? Drink less? Read more? Travel?

Did you know that the idea of making New Year's resolutions was first introduced by Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request)?

On January 1, 1853, he resolved to spend more time with his family.

The notion of abandoning a New Year's resolution was also pioneered by Dickinson -- on January 2, 1853 -- the day after he had spent the New Year's Day holiday with his family.

His lack of resolution prompted him to write his poem "Unfulfilled to Observation" (below on the left). His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem with the same opening line (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:

Unfulfilled to Observation –
Incomplete – to Eye –
Lost my Faith – in Resolutions
That didn’t Gratify –

Unto Me – my Goals extinguished –
To the Opposite –
Lost Horizons – I relinquished –
Within a Day – I Quit!

By Emily Dickinson:

Unfulfilled to Observation –
Incomplete – to Eye –
But to Faith – a Revolution
In Locality –

Unto Us – the Suns extinguish –
To our Opposite –
New Horizons – they embellish –
Fronting Us – with Night.

Pictured at the right: The White House released the Trumps' 2019 New Year's holiday card today.

A press release also noted Donald Trump's New Year's resolutions:

* Deliver more tax-scams for the rich.
* Accept more emoluments.
* Golf more.
* Tweet more.

Melania has just one resolution: Be Best.