Spell Check

From our current affairs editor, Lemuel Stuart III:

“I was confused as cattle on astroturf,” said Donald T. Tump of Bucksnort, Tennessee.
 
Tump was describing his disbelief as his Twitter account began blowing up this morning.
 
It all started early today when Donald Trump misspelled his own name as Donald "Ttump" in a tweet.  Almost immediately the Twittersphere went crazy with people tweeting with the hashtag #DonaldTtump. 
 
“I hain’t never seen nothin’ like it,” said Mr. Tump.  “You coulda  busted my legs and called me shorty.”

Pictured at the left:  Donald T. Tump of Bucksnort, Tennessee

When Tump learned that Trump had misspelled his own name, Tump sat staring like a dog hoping for a scrap of food at the dinner table. 
 
“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” said Tump.  “The man actually misspelt his own name?  Why, if he was any dumber, we’d have to water ’im.”

Tump received so many angry @ messages, he finally decided to delete his Twitter account, @realDonaldTTump.

"I couldn't take it no more," he said.
 
“This happened once to my third cousin, Edna Jewel Covfefe,” Tump recalled. “She had to delete her account too.”

Pictured at the left:  Donald T. Tump's third cousin, Edna Jewel Covfefe
 
“I tell ya,” he added, “that Trump is nuttier than a squirrel turd.”