From 2014: Black Friday is just days away, but now some news agencies are reporting that "This season could mark the end of Black Friday as we know it." With more and more stores opening their doors on "Thanksgetting" (formerly known as "Thanksgiving"), is this just the opening shot in this year's War on Christmas?
With that thought in mind, we thought we would post the lyrics to Emmett Lee Dickinson's second most famous holiday song, "The War on Christmas March" (see below).
Dickinson wrote many songs for the Shopping Season (formerly known as the "Holiday Season"). Many of his songs are posted HERE. His most celebrated holiday song is also in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the Shopping Season's song with the longest title: "Nothing Else Says Merry Christmas Like A Light-Up Giant Twelve-Foot Vinyl Blow-Up Santa In Your Yard."
His most controversial song, though, "The War on Christmas March," is the one that has been recorded the most (although all of the known recordings -- including those by Bill O'Reilly, David Bowie, Wilford Brimley, Kate Smith, Jackie Evancho, Barry Manilow, and Whitney Houston -- have been lost to the ages).
With that thought in mind, we thought we would post the lyrics to Emmett Lee Dickinson's second most famous holiday song, "The War on Christmas March" (see below).
Dickinson wrote many songs for the Shopping Season (formerly known as the "Holiday Season"). Many of his songs are posted HERE. His most celebrated holiday song is also in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the Shopping Season's song with the longest title: "Nothing Else Says Merry Christmas Like A Light-Up Giant Twelve-Foot Vinyl Blow-Up Santa In Your Yard."
His most controversial song, though, "The War on Christmas March," is the one that has been recorded the most (although all of the known recordings -- including those by Bill O'Reilly, David Bowie, Wilford Brimley, Kate Smith, Jackie Evancho, Barry Manilow, and Whitney Houston -- have been lost to the ages).
| THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS MARCH We will fight …the war on Christmas And we’ll never utter “Happy Holidays.” Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas Because “Merry Christmas” is the proper phrase. Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas For December shouldn’t host a holy maze. We will join with Santa’s army and fight with all his elves To decimate Kwanzaa and Diwali. If the Jews could just keep Hanukkah all to themselves The rest of us would sure be jolly. Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas And a carol is the only song we’ll sing. We’ll scoff at all those nuts who mark the solstice ’Cause it really doesn’t mean a thing Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas And we’ll fight until you’re seeing green and red. Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas To ensure that “season’s greetings” goes unsaid Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas To keep sugar-plummy visions in your head. If you’re not too jolly …we’ll stick you with some holly… And whack you with a candy cane. Piety cements us to this matter so momentous Because freedom of religion is a pain! Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas And a Christmas card’s the only card we’ll send. We’ll sucker punch the suckers who mention Boxing Day-- To this folly we will put an end! Sing…yes we will sing…Hallelujah…when we win! Ring…the bells will ring -- and we’ll sue ya…if you’re not in…With us! The war on Christmas! Resistance…we’ve got to quell! Hey, say “Merry Christmas” …or you’ll burn in hell! We will fight …the war on Christmas And we’ll never utter “Happy Holidays.” Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas Because “Merry Christmas” is the proper phrase. Yes we will fight …the war on Christmas For December shouldn’t host a holy maze. If we end up breaking bread it better not be marble rye And it’d better be a loaf that’s leavened! If you send a yearly greeting to the dearest of your friends Say “Merry Christmas” and you’ll get to heaven! Yes we will fight…the war on Christmas We will only deck the halls with Christmas cheer! If throughout the month you don’t say “Merry Christmas,” May the blisters on your tongue be quite severe! |  |
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