Heavy Medal

From our current affairs editor ​Lemuel Stuart III:

Yes, Donald Trump wants a military parade -- we wrote about it HERE -- but now that he's watched some of the Olympics, he wants even more.  He wants a gold medal ("I've always wanted one," he said), and he wants his own squad of synchronized cheerleaders ("Get me some of those cute Korean girls," he told Pence). 

​Pictured below on the left:  Donald Trump models the "Olympic" medal Mike Pence got for him.  Pence made an official request for a gold medal from the games in Pyeongchang, but the IOC said, "absolutely not."  Therefore, he picked up a "Go Team" medal at the Party City in nearby Hoengseong, South Korea.

"I love it," said Trump.  "I have a gold medal.  This is like big stuff. I always wanted to get a gold medal, and Mikey got one for me. This was much easier than having to race down some mountain on a sled, and I have more medals than any other president, past or present."

Pictured below on the right:  Trump's "Go Team" gold medal from the Olympics in Pyeongchang.
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Pictured below left and right: Trump loved the North Korean cheerleaders at the Pyeongchange Olympics, so he has signed an Executive Order authorizing the White House to hire a one-hundred-plus synchronized cheer squad.

"The Kim Jong Un is one smart cookie," said Trump, "and he's got some pretty Korean ladies cheering for him. I knew from the minute I saw them that I needed a cheer squad too -- bigger and better than Kim's. I'm going to call them the MAGettes."
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Visionary and poet Emmett Lee Dickinson (Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed -- at her request) once wrote about an autocrat who felt the need to employ a cheer squad in his poem "With bigly overgushing words" (below on the left).  His poem inspired third cousin Emily to pen her poem "A little overflowing word" (below on the right). 

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
With bigly overgushing words
That any, hearing, could infer
How odd he needs their Cheers
With Thunderation as they bray
Conditions worsen and decay,
As arrogance appears –

By Emily Dickinson:
 
A little overflowing word
That any, hearing, had inferred
For Ardor or for Tears,
Though Generations pass away,
Traditions ripen and decay,
As eloquent appears –