Welcome to the 2020 Shopping Season
(formerly known as the Holiday Season).
Of course, due to Grand Wizard Trump's inept handling of the Trump Virus, the escalating cases of COVID19, and the ever-climbing Trump Death Toll, the shopping season this year will have more than its fair share of Ho-Ho-Horrors.
CDC guidelines for Thanksgiving and holiday gatherings are HERE, and I actually saw this headline:
After Big Thanksgiving Dinners, Plan Small Christmas Funerals, Health Experts Warn
I'm not making that up. Read the article HERE.
To plan for this year's Shopping Season, plan appropriately according to the dates below.
11/26: ThanksGetting (formerly known as Thanksgiving) -- GET WHAT YOU CAN ONLINE
11/27: Black Plague Friday -- go out & catch the deals! And the plague, too!
11/28: Social Distanced Saturday -- shop small business -- in small social-distanced crowds.
11/29: Super Spreader Sunday -- to hell with it all! Go out to the mega-marts. Just wear a mask!
11/30: Quarantined Monday -- shopping exclusively online.
12/01: Lock Down Tuesday -- keep shopping online.
12/02: Shelter-in-Place Wednesday -- keep shopping online.
12/03: Gift-Scrolling Thursday -- stop doomscrolling all day long -- and continue gift-scrolling!
12/04: Flatten-the-Curve Friday -- keep shopping online.
12/05: Community Spread Saturday -- cast your fate to the wind and take a trek to the mall!
12/06: Covidiot Sunday -- maskless shopping with all the Covidiots!
12/07: Asymptomatic Monday -- go out shopping even if you're asymptomatic!
12/08: Herd Immunity Tuesday -- shop with all the GOP sheep today.
12/09: Essential Shopping Wednesday -- don't forget to pick up some more toilet paper!
12/10: Stimulus Check Thursday -- boy, the GOP sure rushed through that Supreme Court nominee vote, didn't they? Maybe they'll get off their asses and think about needy Americans by December? LOL.
I doubt it!
12/11: Reopen-the-Stores Friday -- Trump wanted churches packed by Easter, remember? Now he wants all of the stores reopened! Who cares about the Trump Death Toll! GET OUT THERE AND SHOP!
12/12: Second-Wave-Shopping Saturday -- keep the momentum going! Just remember -- plan for small funerals near or after the holidays.
12/13: Ventilator Sunday -- do some online shopping even if you're in the hospital.
For info on past years' "Shopping Seasons" -- including some poetry -- click HERE and scroll down.