Are you beginning to experience a bit of cabin fever associated with quarantined life? Checking your phone too much? Crushing a bit too much candy? Snacking a just a bit too often? Feeling a bit disheartened and useless?
There are some things you can do to feel useful during the pandemic:
1. You can volunteer to assist with the construction of the Trump Death Camps going up outside hospitals across the country. If you can’t get out to help, Ivanka "Princess Vanky" Trump suggests that you build your own Trump Death Camp in the living room and play there with the kids.
Below left: Trump Death Camps are being constructed outside hospitals across the country. Below right: Ivanka Trump suggests building a pretend Trump Death Camp in the living room and then playing in it with the kids.
2. The American Association of Forest Rakers reminds you that you can distance yourself socially by traveling to a forest to rake. Only you can prevent forest fires – by raking forests.
Pictured at the right: Donald Trump and Third Lady Melania recommend the raking of forests to prevent forest fires.
3. If you live near any windmills, the National Windmill Cancer Association suggests that you go outside and bag wind to take to state and local wind dumps to help prevent the spread of windmill cancer. The NWCA suggests using GOP approved Wind Bags.
Pictured at the left: Republican Air Bags -- so that you can bag wind to help prevent Windmill Cancer.
4. The GOP Brotherhood of Klan is looking for volunteers at the US southern boarder to form a Wall of Meat. Due to the current call for social distancing, though, volunteers must stand six to ten feet apart, so instead of being part of a Wall of Meat, you’d be more of a Meat Post.
5. The White House is also looking for volunteers at the border to man caravan look out towers. “Caravans are still out there,” says Stephen Miller, the head of Trump’s Neo-Nazi Affairs. “We just have to find them.”
6. Finally, your can volunteer to help the National Society of Veterinarians manufacture Death Deflector Cones to help people stop touching their faces.
Below: Donald Trump and Mike Pence wear Death Deflector Cones at Conornavirus Lie Briefings.