We at the Emmett Lee Dickinson are beyond incensed! It all started yesterday, when I saw a Christmas display going up at a local Lowe's home improvement store:
Obviously, the first shots have been fired in the War on National Candy Corn Day (October 30th; information HERE).
The War on National Candy Corn Day is a very real societal conflict -- unlike the phony "War on Christmas," a counterfeit campaign concocted merely to gain Christmas more status and commercialism.
As a result, we posted Emmett Lee Dickinson's now-classic poem, "'Tis fighting for our Lives we are" (below on the left), as one of our Featured Poems of the Week. Dickinson's poem inspired his third cousin Emily to pen her poem, "'Twas fighting for his Life he was" (below on the right).
By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
’Tis fighting for our Lives we are –
To save our favorite corn –
The Ordnance of Confection’ry
Allegiance we have Sworn.
They aim once – kill once – conquer once –
There is no other War
In that Campaign as usual
Opposed to Candy Corn.
By Emily Dickinson:
'Twas fighting for his Life he was --
That sort accomplish well --
The Ordnance of Vitality
Is frugal of its Ball.
It aims once — kills once — conquers once --
There is no second War
In that Campaign inscrutable
Of the Interior.
Then Mr. Posnanski -- if that is his real name -- followed up with this cowardly tweet:
Of course, we wholly ignored Mr. Posnanski's request -- if that is his real name:
Stay tuned. We will update you on our plans for vengeance soon! : )