Did you see the foofaraw about Ivanka Trump’s Thanksgiving decoration advice? I saw it on “Twitter Moments” a couple of days ago. It started when @IvankaTrumpHQ tweeted an article in response to the question, “Have no idea how to decorate your Thanksgiving table? Problem solved.”
The problem was, though, the article encouraged readers to (display) a cumbersome ceramic clam shell at the center of the table stuffed with a colossal accumulation outdoor debris.
Here are some of the responses:
The entire fuss reminded me of an interview on NPR several years ago. I was driving home from work listening to the radio, and an NPR host was interviewing a cookbook author about Thanksgiving recipes.
At one point the host asked if the writer/chef had any stories from readers’ Thanksgivings-gone-wrong.
Yes, she said, it’s bound to happen that cooks experience accidents and calamities in the kitchen, even at Thanksgiving.
“You have to be prepared for anything,” she said. “But if catastrophe strikes,” she added, “just laugh it off.”
She told cooks not to get discouraged. “Just use whatever you have in the kitchen to replace the ruined meal.”
For example, she advised – without missing a beat – one could “pop an Indonesian ginger chicken in the oven.”
AN INDONESIAN GINGER CHICKEN?! Are you kidding me? Who has a stand-by Indonesian ginger chicken waiting in the freezer in case the turducken carbonizes in an overheated deep fryer?
I was expecting a stupefied host to bring the interview to a screeching halt.
An Indonesian ginger chicken? In what universe do people keep Indonesian ginger chickens around the house?
She might as well have said to unpack the mammoth clam shell and fill it with edible gourds, twigs and berries from the yard.
Here’s hoping your Thanksgiving feast comes off without a hitch. However, you might want to pop an Indonesian ginger chicken into the freezer just in case. And don’t forget to dust off all the stockpiled shells of bivalve mollusks you’ve got warehoused in the attic. You never know if and when you might experience a calamity with the center piece.
Pictured at the left: Jared Kushner slaughters a rare geoduck, a saltwater clam on the endangered species list that is native to the west coast of North America. He murdered the clam to obtain a shell for Ivanka’s centerpiece for Thanksgiving 2016.
The Trumps have slaughtered numerous giant clams on the endangered species list in the name of high fashion and decor.
“It is well worth it,” said Ivanka. “Those giant clams are so gross, but their shells make delightful conversation pieces for a table, and clam-ucopias blend so well with expensive china.”