Treason's Greetings!

Treason's Greetings!  It's Christmas in July!

Time to stock up on these GOP gifts now -- for Christmas in July -- or for Christmas in December!  Or to be honest, for Christmas in any month because Donald Trump is going to sign an Executive Order commanding that Christmas be honored with a year-round celebration!  Fa la la la la.

​1. TIME MAGAZINE COVER

Get your picture on a true-to-life Time Magazine cover!  Put any picture you want with any caption -- say your the President of the United States or the Golfer-of-the-Year!  Make up honors, awards and tributes.  For example, say that you're the recipient of a Purple Heart!  A fun gift for every member of the family.

​2. PERSONALIZED INVITATION FOR TWO TO TRUMP'S IMPEACHMENT

Your souvenir ticket to Trump's Impeachment for front & center seats will be suitable for framing!

​3. IVANKA TRUMP'S PRISON GARB

In recent months, Ivanka Trump has identified a void in the fashion space. Recognizing the absence of a brand that addressed the needs of the modern politician, she now offers trendy apparel and accessories in prison garb! 

4. RUSSIAN FOR GOP CANDIDATES

Learn to collude with an enemy nation for personal gain by mastering Russian!  Learn the Russian alphabet and basic conversational phrases about setting up clandestine meetings with the crown prosecutor of Russia, sharing very high level and sensitive information, and dismissing any talk about adoption policies and pesky orphans.

"I love it," said Donald J. Trump Junior.

​5. PERJUR-EASE 

Do you stress about telling the truth -- especially when under oath?  Don't give the truth a second thought -- and lie in comfort with Perjur-EASE, the tablets for tale-telling approved by U.S. Confederate General Jeffery Beauregard Sessions!

Do fast talking city slickers in the senate make you nervous?   Calm your nerves with Perjur-EASE -- and you'll be able to lie through your teeth like Mike Pence without even batting an eye!

Approved by the US Department of Justice. 

​6. KELLYANNE CONWAY VOCABULARY FLASHCARDS

Help your kids develop a robust vocabulary with Kellyanne Conway's GOP-approved Vocabulary Flashcards.

The GOP has mastered how to rewrite voting district boundaries. voting laws to suppress the vote, and historical facts.  Now they're rewriting the dictionary!  Don't let your kids fall behind!

​7. GERRYMANDER-O-GRAPH

Do you have a future GOP politician in the family?  Then get Kenner's new Gerrymander-O-Graph!  Your children will be drawing and manipulating complex and confusing voting district borders to favor the GOP  in no time!

8. DON JR's MORAL COMPASS

Have a problem lying in public?  Can't seem to swindle a friend or a business associate?  Feel guilty when you contact enemies of the state?  Fret not!

You can lie, cheat, swindle and commit treason like a seasoned GOP pro with Donald J. Trump Jr's Moral Compass.

9. MITCH McCONNEL'S HOME HEALTHCARE SYSTEM

Who needs healthcare when you have Mitch McConnell's Home Healthcare System.  

Is someone in the family complaining about an ache or a pain?  No worries!  You'll be sawing off limbs in no time!

​Bandage wraps  and pain killers not included.

​10. TRUMP UNIVERSITY DIPLOMA

We have hundreds of thousands of these things, and they aren't worth the paper their printed on, so talk about a great gag-gift for friends and family -- just fill in names and the type of the degree -- and voila  -- you have a Trump U. degree!

​BONUS BUY:  TRUMP-BRAND CHRISTMAS COAL

President Trump promised to get the coal miners back to work, and they're now digging away in West Virginia to provide little red MCGA bags of coal -- just in time for Christmas!

Who's in line to get some coal?  Don Jr is sure to get a bag or two!  So will Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, Jeff Sessions, Mike Flynn, Marc Kasowitz, Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer, and Sarah Sanders Huckabee.