Wetness Wetness Everywhere

From our current affairs editor Lemuel Stuart III:

When Donald Trump spoke about Hurricane Florence recently, he actually said, “This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water.”

Some of Trump’s handlers came to his defense quickly and tried to justify his inane comment.  Alas, they channeled Emmett Lee Dickinson by stating that Trump was merely trying to allude to Dickinson’s poem “I think that the Root of the Wet is Water,” an atypical poem by Dickinson due to its mediocrity. 
 
“I think that the Root of the Wet is Water” (below on the left) was written early in Dickinson’s career as he was developing his voice as a poet, and he was dissatisfied with it.  As a matter of fact, he threw this poem away, but his sister Zebulene Jean pulled it from the trash to jot down a grocery list on the opposite side – thus saving it for posterity.
 
We highly doubt that Dickinson’s poem inspired Trump to make his ridiculous comment.  However, it did inspire his third cousin Emily to pen her poem “I think that the Root of the Wind is Water” (below on the right).

By Emmett Lee Dickinson:
 
I think that the Root of the Wet is Water –
It’s just that wet and deep
A wet and Saturated Product –
Which all Oceans keep –
When it is raining and in the Oceans –
And the Current’s Near –
There is very wet conviction
In the Atmosphere –
​

By Emily Dickinson:
 
I think that the Root of the Wind is Water –
It would not sound so deep
Were it a Firmamental Product –
Airs no Oceans keep –
Mediterranean intonations –
To a Current's Ear –
There is a maritime conviction
In the Atmosphere –
​

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More on Hurricane Florence is HERE. 

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For the record:  The wettest water on record fell in Washerst, PA, as a result of Hurricane Edmonia in 1853.